His Archetypal Prince
by JewelValentine
Summary: Remus thinks romance is stupid. James scoffs, Peter muses, and Sirius takes a shot at proving Remus wrong, but not entirely of his own will. Chaos ensues, in a slash tastic sort of way. A present for PenPusherM, darling that she is.
1. Chapter 1

Authoress Notes: Ah…right then. A Crossing of the Ways, though it is regrettable, is officially dead. But this one will not die, as it's already (OK, already mostly...alright, already halfway) finished, with a decent plot and outline backing it!

Huzzah!

This was made entirely for PenPusherM, whom I seemed to have roped into the wide world that is slash. So here's hoping that she enjoys it.

* * *

I do not own... 

1) The Wide World of Harry Potter.

2) The Spectactular Spectacular that is Moulin Rouge.

3) Lycanthropy-Related/Induced Male PMS. Some other mad-happy fangirl came up with that one.

* * *

Remus had worked it out once. One hundred hours before the full moon rose, he'd begin to feel that horrible scratch behind his left ear lobe. It was almost immediately following the scratch, as according to Sirius, that his "Male PMS" always decided to set in. 

James Harold Potter was not particularly helping the situation.

"Can you believe it? I'm Head Boy to Lily Evan's Head Girl! The fates, my friends, must have finally decided that it is my _destiny_ – nay, my _right_ – to fall into a state of absolute nirvana next to my one true love!" He gesticulated wildly, eyes pointed towards the ceiling in ecstatic sort of reverence.

_Because _that's_ what being Head Boy is all about,_ thought Remus. _Shagging the Head Girl. It's not as if James will ever need the prestige that goes with it – no, _he's_ got a wealthy family, an in with the Ministry, and no bloody Werewolf Registration to hold _him_ back. I, on the other hand –_

_No. Come on Remus, get a hold of yourself. You know Dumbledore did this for a reason. No Head Boy can go mysteriously missing every month without _someone_ getting suspicious. He did you a favor. Really._

_A favor._

Peter, from his perch upon Sirius' trunk, looked as though he were actually listening to James' tirade. He was, Remus reflected, getting rather good at that. "I thought Dumbledore was the one who decided-"

James rounded on him in what Remus thought must be mock anger – but then again, this concerned Lily, so one could never quite be sure. "It's fate, Peter, I tell you its fate! Fate-fate-fate-fate-_fate!_" With an impressive twirl, he managed to evade a bedpost and flop almost elegantly on his own bed. "Can you imagine? We'll spend every morning, noon, and night together – she'll _never_ be able to resist my charm then!"

_More like she'll never be able to bloody evade him. The poor girl's likely to lose her sanity by the end of next year._

_Shame, that. She's really a rather nice girl._

James sat up, looking directly at Remus, who shut down his internal commentator on the off chance that James was as capable of reading minds as he claimed to be. Then again, he'd also said he was able to see through Lily's robes whenever he'd smelt mugwort, but no one had been inclined to believe him, and had instead accused him of dipping into the purple-sworled Bertie-Botts again.

"Hey, Moony – tell me again!" James looked for all the world like a child pleading for an early birthday present, eyes wide and full of euphoria. Remus wondered whether it was prudent to chuck the book in his hands at James, or if it would merely worsen the situation and increase his concussion-like trance concerning Miss Evans.

James, upon realizing that the Heads shared adjoining rooms, had been convinced that _this was the year I'll win Evans' heart, no matter what, you guys, I mean it, so stop laughing!_ He'd hounded Remus for statistics on the Heads and their later lives, and Remus had gamely taken on the challenge and looked up as many of the numbers as he could find. This idea had rather backfired on him, as James now asked him to recite them with alarming regularity every six to eight hours. Refusal usually ended with something wet, slimy, and vaguely reptilian being shoved in Remus' bed, so he sighed and began his resuscitation for the eighty-second time. "In the last two-hundred-fourteen years, eighty-nine percent have dated, forty-three percent ended up married, and seventy-two percent-"

Sirius, apparently unsatisfied with his lack of personal input so far, interrupted the werewolf's droning resuscitation of facts. "-Have had kinky sex in the Astronomy Tower, I'm sure. Moony, weren't we trying to _dispel_ his fantasies at some point? You're failing your duty as a Marauder, my friend! I shall be forced to excommunicate you if this persists!" He emphasized each word with a flourish of his wand, sending sparks flying every which direction, briefly lighting Peter's trousers on fire.

Remus took the opportunity to take off his reading glasses and massage his temples in an annoyed fashion. "Because that's worked so well in the past, Pads. Six full years in this school and the little wanker still hasn't given up." He sighed, looking past the window-perched Sirius into the night sky. "We're almost done. Just next year, and then we'll never _really_ be the Marauders again."

"Just next year, and then we'll never _really_ be the Marauders again."

* * *

Sirius blinked, taking in what Remus had just said as a familiar gut-wrenching feeling came over him. 

_I hate it when he's like this._

Sirius had always fancied that he was the only one in the entire school who knew what his introverted werewolf friend was thinking more than fifty percent of the time. It was, he had figured out, all in Remus' eyes. Eyes and hands. And when his eyes were _that_ particular shade of gold with _that_ amount of lid covering them with _those_ creases between his eyebrows and his hands were twisted _just so_ around the spine of the book he was holding...

Well. The boy was due for some cheering from the Master of All Things Fun and Kinky, Sirius Black, Marauder Extraordinaire.

Pushing off from the windowsill with an acrobat's style (though almost none of the grace), he used his hang time in the air to wriggle into his canine body, bounding in three quick leaps to tackle Remus, book and all, onto the soft comforter. He yipped joyfully and aimed, with what Remus classified as his "Overly long, overly slimy, and overly _obnoxious_" tongue, at the especially ticklish spot just under the werewolf's jaw.

Remus collapsed into laughter, just as Sirius had known he would. "Padfoot – you – argh! Get off!" Sirius obliged as Remus began to wipe his face with his sleeve. "Disgusting. Why we let you live here, I'll never remember."

Sirius reverted back, laughter flashing in his eyes. "I made you a list, back in Third Year. Don't you remember? I…Hel-_lo_, what's this?" He picked up the book Remus had been reading from earlier, just now noticing the cover where two scantily dressed Muggles – they had to be Muggles, as the picture wasn't moving, though with that amount of clothing missing he wouldn't have been able to tell otherwise – appeared to be making an extremely interesting use of a smithy.

Remus looked absolutely horrified. "Sirius, give that back right now! Professor Castella recommended it to me for Muggle Studies!"

Sirius raised his eyebrows at Peter and James, who were both snickering on the other side of the room, as he opened to a random page and began to read aloud in his most dramatic stage voice. "'And Mariabelle was swept into his fantastically muscled forearms, her bosom heaving against his majestically broad chest as they stared into each other's eyes. She felt him tense under her as she was carried, as if on a velvet pathway, towards the back rooms, the warm fabric of his kilt softly brushing against her dangling feet. She...' Moony, stop gaping like a fish, I know you've already read this part, your bookmark's way the hell over here, '...She could only guess what was about to come next, but she felt immediately that she would be betraying Mercutio, the brother of the man who now held her so tightly.' Rem, you've got to be _kidding_ me."

James' smile must have filled his entire face as he came out of his Lily Evans induced thoughts. "Well, well, well, Mr. Padfoot. I do believe we have a closet romantic in our midst. Whatever shall we do with him?"

"I'm sure if we look hard enough we'll be able to find something...appropriate."

Remus, now looking quite scared for his sanity and more than a little frustrated, took this lapse in concentration to snatch the book back from Sirius. "Absolutely not! James, if you do anything, I swear I'll tell Lily Evans about your lookout point from the Astronomy Tower to the Gryffindor Girls' showers. And Sirius...I'll...I'll..." It occurred to Remus at this point in time that really, there wasn't a whole lot he could do to Sirius Black that would make him pay attention. God knew he'd been trying to find something for years. "Well. I have no idea what I'll do, but it will be suitably horrible. Pete will help, won't you, Peter?"

"Absolutely!" shouted Peter, glad to be Remus' first choice. "We could start by putting a dandruff spell in his hair. And that horrible zit spell James found last year. That'd go nicely."

Remus nodded sagely. "He'll be a wreck, won't he? And do you know what that means, Peter?"

Peter pretended to think. "He'll be undateable?"

Remus returned with an evil grin plastered on his face. "Worse, my dear Wormtail. It will mark the coming of the apocalypse, of judgment day, for Sirius Black will finally be," he drew a deep breath and locked eyes with Sirius, "_Single._"

Sirius, now in his element, knelt in front of Remus and began kissing the hem of his pants in an overly dramatic manner. "No! Say it ain't so! I am your slave, your servant, your underling!"

"How about my bitch?" chuckled Remus, peering down at him.

"Yes, that too! I grovel at your feet and – hey, now, wait a minute Moony, that wasn't very nice."

Remus smiled as he disentangled Sirius from his leg and set the book in his trunk – careful to lock it, just in case of further disruption from the hurricane that was Sirius Lee Black. "Yes, well, you all know my views on romance, don't you? So really, it's a moot point."

James rolled his eyes as he recited, as if from one of Moony's well-loved textbooks, "That's it's nothing but pomp and show, a worthless waste of time that only allows you to be ridiculed and slowly driven insane as you are paired with a person you thought you knew but couldn't possibly because women are nothing but a source of evil and very, very bad things when thought of as sexual beings. Yes, Moony, we got that."

Peter got that evil look on his face that always meant he knew something. "James says that all that means is that you're gay."

"James!"

"I do not, Peter! You sodding liar!"

_There's that funny feeling again_, thought Sirius. _I wonder what it could mean...?_

A voice that sounded all too much like a certain greasy-haired Slytherin took that opportunity to pipe up in the back of his mind. _Oh, I think I have an idea or two..._

Sirius told the voice in his head to kindly _sod off_, or he would find a way to permanently exorcize it.

"Siri? Are you OK?"

Sirius jerked his head up just in time to meet Remus' curious glance. "Hm? Yeah, m'fine. Just thinking."

Remus smiled and poked Sirius on the forehead. "Alright. Don't forget, it's a Hogsmeade day tomorrow – we've really got to stock up if we want the end of this year to go off with a bang."

* * *

_I wonder_, thought Peter as he lay in bed, fiddling with the corner of his sheets, _what's got Sirius so preoccupied. Remus, too. It's obvious what's wrong with James; he's been like this for years. But the other two were always so steady. There's something between them, I think. Not a fight. No, not a fight, or I'd know about it. I'd have heard about it, because God knows I'm always the one to really figure out what's going on here. Most of the time. _

_But still – it's so odd. I can't explain it, not really. And that's a first, because Sirius and James are so transparent – not Moony, but I guess that comes from the whole being-a-werewolf thing. It's almost as if they're..._

_

* * *

_

_...in love! I'm in love with the most beautiful girl in the world and by Merlin_, thought James as he lay in bed, contemplating the heavens, _I'm going to make her love me back._ _She'll see. She's not like Remus. Remus, who thinks that love's the stupidest thing that could ever happen to a guy, just because…well. I wonder why? He's never really given us a reason, has he? _

_...He needs to get over that, I think. Love – love is a many splendoured thing, love lifts us up where we belong, all you need is love! _

_

* * *

Don't start that again,_ thought Sirius as he lay in bed, angrily smashing his pillow against the headboard_. I've got better things to do than getting rid of voices in my head. Like trying to figure out...stuff._

_Summer plans. _

_The end of the year pranking ideas. _

_Girls. Girls with curves and legs and big brown eyes and long hair..._

_

* * *

_

_...that's completely distracting every time he flips it about,_ thought Remus as he lay in bed, sighing as he stared at a length of black hair in the bed next to him_. No one should be that perfect. Except that he's not. Except that he is. Except he'll never be yours, Remus, so just allow that overactive imagination of yours to take a rest from that dangerous path that it's heading down, so you can accept reality. Because there are only so many times your friends are going to accept you._

_Accept it._

* * *

Day Two

* * *

Peter Pettigrew had always been an early riser. He liked to watch the sun as it came up over the lake on Hogwarts grounds, see the different colors fading in and out with each ripple of the water. He liked watching the centaurs as they peered out of the edge of the forest, bows and arrows in their hands, occasionally having a friendly target practice with the groundskeeper, Hagrid. He loved the smell of breakfast wafting through the halls, freshly prepared by the Houselves of Hogwarts, before it was contaminated by the smell of students rushing in the morning, spilled ink and spells gone wrong. 

_But this_, he thought to himself, _is positively ridiculous._

Woken at three a.m. by the sensation that he simply _couldn't_ remain in his four poster bed, he had wandered through the halls looking for something that might just catch his interest. He hadn't been brave enough to make his way to the dungeons yet, instead opting for the safer and more familiar prank-section of the library. He might be a decent dueler, but the packs that Slytherins tended to travel with in the lower levels of Hogwarts made for odds he didn't particularly favor. Sirius had described them as being "like ruddy witches going to the bathroom in groups – can't they be apart from each other for one whole minute?"

Snape hadn't quite liked that remark, and had proceeded to hit Sirius with a spell that turned his nose a fantastically bright color every other second.

Chuckling at the memory – it had taken the Marauders three days to rid Sirius of the spell (though, truth be told, everyone but Sirius had found it rather amusing, and they hadn't been particularly motivated to remove it in a timely fashion) – Peter non-chalantly swung open the door leading to the next section of the library.

Or, at least, he had meant to. Instead, it swung open with a sharp _crack_ as it came in contact with a rather solid object on the other side.

"Dammit, Peter, that _hurt!_"

The solid object appeared not only to be speaking, but taking the guise of his good friend Prongs.

"Oh, for! I'm sorry, James." Peter helped his friend up from the ground, noting an angry red mark that would no doubt be subject to prodding from Madame Pomfrey's wand at a later time. "What were you doing behind the door?"

"Looking for you, actually. You're up early, even for you, and I wanted to make sure you weren't sleepwalking or something."

"James, I've never been sleepwalking in my life. I'm not about to start now." Peter took a minute to consider it. "Well, at least I hope not. Can you do that, just start sleepwalking for no reason?"

James quirked an eyebrow at him. "Peter, this is Hogwarts. There's not a whole lot that isn't possible. _Practical_, on the other hand, is an entirely different story."

A short silence followed as the two stood outside the door. It left Peter feeling uncomfortable – there was no doubt in his mind that James was perfectly alright with it, as he'd never seen his hero look so much as flummoxed, even when Lily Evans started throwing curses at him – so he decided to bring up what had been foremost in his mind the night before.

"Hey, James?" he asked quietly. "Have you noticed anything...I don't know..._different_ about Moony and Padfoot?"

"What?" James looked at him quizzically, leaning casually against a wall. "Not that I can remember, no. Why?"

Peter shook his head quickly. "No, nevermind, it's nothing." He realized even as the words flew out of his mouth that this was the absolute last thing he should be saying if he wanted Prongs to actually drop the subject.

James, ever predictable, immediately latched onto the subject. "No, seriously, what's up? I haven't noticed anything, but that doesn't really mean much."

Remus, Peter reflected, had a perfectly good reason for claiming that Sirius and James were the densest people he knew. Neither had any sense whatsoever for other people's feelings – it was what made them both amazing pranksters and the first into detention. Peter and Remus, on the other hand, avoided the undying wrath of McGonagall with the semblance of poor, misdirected, but generally kindhearted students who were merely dragged into yet another plan by the deviants of the school.

Peter was amazed it still worked.

Praying that his next words wouldn't positively backfire on him, Peter took a deep breath. "You know how we're always teasing Moony and Padfoot about...about being a couple? Hell, they even go along with it now, we've done it for so long. You know...because they're always the closest together, and because Remus lets Sirius eat off his plate, and Sirius always lets Moony use him as a footrest, and Padfoot is the only person Remus will ever share chocolate with, and Sirius is always insisting that he be the one to take Moony his homework and stuff after the full moon, and...and..." Peter realized he was rambling, and dropped his eyes to James' feet. "I think...I think we might be _right._"

Five seconds passed, and Peter hadn't been cursed to into oblivion. Ten, and James hadn't so much as moved. Peter became afraid he had gone into epileptic shock, so he finally deemed it safe to look up at him. "James?"

Peter began to wish fervently for a camera. James' face was contorted into a mask of laughter, the corners of his mouth twitching as he tried with every fiber of his being to not laugh. It was another three seconds before he failed this mission altogether, and collapsed on the floor in helpless laughter.

"You...think – You think Sirius Black, self proclaimed _womanizer_ and all-around _slut_ of Gryffindor House," James drew a breath, tears nearly streaming out his eyes, "Is actually _gay?_ Peter – you…you just…no bloody _way_. I don't think it's even in Padfoot's _genes_ to think of another bloke like that, much less about Moony. I mean, I know he's all girly and stuff, with all the books and the Prefect stuff and the general wussy-ness, but there's no way Padfoot's _that_ confused."

Peter felt a quick surge of anger in defense of Remus. "Hey! Come on! Moony is _not_ girly, and I think I've got a perfectly valid assumption! What would you think if...if Lily started hanging off of you all the time, and shared her food with you, and _tackled_ _you on a bed while she was laughing?_"

James' eyes got a misty look about them before he snapped his attention back to Peter. "Alright, fair point. But you're still missing the idea that they're both guys, Peter. Not to mention our best mates. Who _live_ in our dorm. Wouldn't we have, I dunno, _noticed_ something?"

Peter's eyes widened as a verifiable lightbulb went off in his head. "Not if they don't know it yet."

"What?"

Peter looked straight at James, completely deadpan. "What if they don't know they're in love with each other yet? That must be it." Peter felt the hopeless romantic inside of him stirring into action. "James, we've got to do something!"

"What?"

Now completely awake, he skidded through the open doorway, pulling down books in a random fashion and banishing them to the nearby table with his wand. A few missed – one almost knocked James in the head – but Peter was on a roll now, and nothing would get in his way now.

This was why he was a Marauder.

"There's got to be something in these books. A spell to point out your true love, a Ouija board, _something!_" His eyes flashed, and James reluctantly took a seat at the table, accepting his fate and trying to organize the books as they were thrown at him.

Finished pulling the books off the shelves – somewhere around two dozen – he took a deep breath and pulled the first tome off the impressive pile James had stacked. Calming himself, he flipped randomly though the pages. If there was one thing he had learned within his six years at Hogwarts, it was that he had a special knack for finding things when he wasn't actively looking for them. It only added to his luck if the topic was labeled in his mind with tags such as 'that one witch who did that one thing with those weird things.'

* * *

Twenty minutes later, James was beginning to doze as he looked in the index of Why Egg Whites Are Better Than Sheep: The Life and Times of Higbert the Haggard when he heard Peter let out a shout. 

"This is it! This is perfect! James! James, look at this! We can have done by Hogsmeade today!"

Cursing whatever part of his brain had gone on super-friend over-drive when he woke to find Peter's bed empty, he squinted at the book Wormtail was brandishing at him until the squiggles on the page blurred into words.

_

* * *

_

The Dramatus Patefacio Potion

_Designed by the Lulu the Magnificent in 1482, Dramatus Patefacio gives the drinker the heightened senses of the justices, the passions, the perceptions, and the loves. Drinker will be pointed to the OTL (One True Love) and should commence with the wooing of the OTL. Others of the side effects of the dramas of the goodnesses may tend to follow._

_(Allow for three hours brewing time. Side effects may include, but are not limited to burning, itching, scratching, lemon-flavored rashes and sudden death. Should not be given to subjects with a history of schizophrenia.)_

* * *

"Not bad," murmured James, taking the book and looking over the ingredients, scribbling it all down with a quill Peter provided him with. "Not bad at all, Wormtail." He grinned, finished, and started walking towards the door. "You realize they're going to kill us, right?" 

Peter smiled wryly, jogging to catch up with James. "Yep."

"Then I do believe we have some work to do, Mr. Wormtail. Five hours 'til Hogsmeade and counting." He tapped the parchment with their instructions thoughtfully. "I say we give it to Sirius."

Peter rolled his eyes. "It might not be all that different from how he normally acts, you know."

James paused, thinking, then said slowly. "That's actually not a bad thing, I think. That way, we can keep the potion working for longer without a teacher suspecting. Plus I'd feel bad giving it to Remus, with the full moon coming and all. Who _knows_ what kind of side effects that could cause." James smiled. "It's brilliant!"

"Yeah," said Peter, grinning. "It kind of is, isn't it?"

* * *

No, really, I swear that on the whole it'll be a bit more lighthearted than this. And by God, I really should have been studying for Gov. 

So it's PenPusherM's fault if I fail that class. Except in that way that it's totally not.

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

Some things to consider...

-Still slash. Don't like? Don't read. I think it's cute.

-Sirius wasn't modeled after our 'good friend' Jax, I swear. Think….think Gojyo from Saiyuki. With black hair. Without the scythe and chain thing. Because Sirius with a scythe is enough to give us all nightmares.

-Remus' love of Astronomy is modeled after my Astronomy teacher who, though happily married and happily sixty, would still enjoy this. Well, maybe just Remus' musings. I'm fairly sure he's not yet hit raving-slashy-fangirl-status.

-Madame Rosmerta's young at this point, so she's _Miss_ Rosmerta.

-Notice how (canon) Rosmerta talks about James, Sirius, and Peter, but not Remus? Hence, no Remmy-poo at the Three Broomsticks.

-That blue haze that Sirius acquires? No resemblance whatsoever to an overdose of Viagra, I swear.

-I know I stole the "Kill Sooner Rather Than Later" list from someone. I just have no idea who.

-Still don't own it. Who'da thunk?

* * *

Today of all days, The Three Broomsticks was positively clogged with students who were wet, cold, and horribly sick of the English weather. The Marauders, however, were well used to the hustle and bustle of Hogsmeade, and six years of practice elbowing their way through crowds in The Three Broomsticks assured they would always have their prime table. 

It also didn't hurt that Sirius and James had spent the last three years flirting with Miss Rosmerta, the voluptuous young daughter of the owner.

Located some ten yards from the bar, 'their' table was secluded while still in full view, allowing both a soundproof place to plan pranks and a perfect alibi should one such prank ever go amiss. Remus never joined them here, especially near the full moon. He always said that the close proximity of so many people made him jumpy, and the mere smell of alcohol gave him a headache.

"I still say we need to drag Moony in here once in a while," said James, gesturing with a mug of Butterbeer. "It's not good for him to always be alone in that bookshop without us."

Peter raised an eyebrow at him, eyeing the rain outside with bitter dislike. "We could always _join_ him…."

Sirius waved to Miss Rosmerta, signaling her for another round of drinks. "Peter, how many times do I have to tell you? If Moony can be allergic to people, I can be allergic to books. I'm not going in there unless some sort of dire emergency occurs. Like, you know, a dragon and a swarm of dementors attacking the_ rest_ of Hogsmeade." He looked thoughtful. "And it'd have to be a really _large_ swarm of dementors. Maybe with a few giants. Then I'd consider it." James didn't think this was strictly true – the entire debacle had come around in second year when Remus had refused to come into the Three Broomsticks with them, and Sirius, in childish retaliation, had refused to accompany Remus into his most-frequented shop. So by now it wasn't a matter of actual dislike so much as an upholding of tradition.

Peter muttered something that sounded like, "Hopeless…" as Miss Rosmerta made her way over to their table.

James noted with a certain amount of approval that she'd changed into a much shorter skirt and a much lower top since they'd arrived. He smirked, reaching into his bag. "Hey Siri, I think it's your turn to earn our keep."

Sirius nodded, undid another button on his shirt, flicked at a few stray bangs, and slapped a rougish grin on his face. "I'm on it, mate," he whispered, sliding out from the side of his chair.

As Sirius confidently strode up to Miss Rosmerta and positively _insisted_ that he carry the tray of drinks for such a lovely lady, James pulled the small potion bottle out of his bag. He exchanged a wide grin with Peter, whacking the bottle against the table to remove the cork as Sirius' back was turned.

Sirius levitated the tray of drinks to their table with his wand, ignoring the glasses as soon as they hit the wooden surface. Miss Rosmerta started to head off towards the bar again, blushing about whatever Sirius had last said, before Padfoot leapt across the distance between them, grabbing her waist and pulling her close to him.

"Now, now, Miss. You know you're not allowed to leave ol' Sirius standing here without a hug, a kiss, or," the remaining two Marauders rolled their eyes in tandem as they saw Sirius come dangerously close to her ear with his open mouth, "numerous sexual favors, don't you?" He grinned as she giggled and protested weakly. "And since you so _rudely_ tried to run away from me just now," he sighed dramatically and paused, "I suppose I'll just have to pick which one it'll be."

Seizing his chance as Sirius was distracted, James grabbed his friend's mug and dumped the potion straight in. Grabbing Peter's straw ("Hey!"), he quickly stirred it to dispel the purple cloud that had bloomed when the liquids mixed. Thanks to the wonders of magical potions, the Butterbeer quickly turned back to its original color.

Sirius returned, taking in the stifled looks on his friends' faces. James was tight-lipped from stifling laughter, and Peter was having problems hiding his smile behind his hand. Misinterpreting them, he rolled his eyes. "Come on now, guys, she knows it's all in good fun. I don't grope her in a public setting, she doesn't drag me into the back room, and everyone stays happy."

Surprisingly, Peter gained control of himself first. "Padfoot, I think perhaps we need to have you look up the true definition of 'grope' in the dictionary. Because what you did there most definitely qualifies," commented Peter. Smoothly, he added, "But whatever. Let's just finish our drinks and find Moony, alright?"

James looked at his watch with a gleam in his eye. "Weren't we supposed to catch up with him somewhere around ten minutes ago?"

Sirius' drink was gone in ten seconds flat. James and Peter exchanged a smile as they put on their coats to head out into the downpour of rain outside.

* * *

As he stared into the whirring expanse of the wizard-created exploitation of the unknown, Remus sighed. He could pick out the names of any number of the pinpricks of light before him on the three dimensional panels, and they all came with a story – real, imagined, he didn't really care. Lycanthropy hadn't stopped a love of astronomy from flourishing in him as a kid – the stars had always been terribly interesting to him, and this was one of the nicest displays he'd seen in Borgin and Burkes for quite some time. The whirling colors and interactive patterns were making him rather introspective. 

Remus thought it was horribly cliché to think about Sirius while looking at Astronomy sets, and he tended to avoid it.

Sometimes, though, he just couldn't resist.

He had always wondered whether it was pure, unadulterated fate or an overwhelming subconscious psychology that Sirius, the man, was named after Sirius, the star, and turned into a large, shaggy black dog once a month. He remembered that, as a first year, Sirius had been convinced that someone had named the star after him, not the other way around. It had been Remus' first big research project, trying to convince the young Gryffindor that the star was not only far older, but probably named well before he'd been born. The research had quite gone to waste, though, as Sirius had completely refused to believe it and only a strong clout to the head, courtesy of Remus' textbook, convinced him otherwise. No one had been more grateful than Professor Sinistra, who'd promptly given Remus his first 50 House points.

Nevertheless, when all the musings switched around to his own name, he often wondered whether his parents had been absolutely intent on tempting fate or incredibly stupid. It was no longer an issue of psychology affecting his lifestyle, as he certainly hadn't wished to be bitten as a child, nor put himself in that position. Lupin, though all too close to 'lupine' as his last name, was an inevitable heritage, and he recognized that. But to drag his first name from the myth of Remus and Romulus, the twins who built Rome after being fiercely guarded by a giant wolf….

What had his parents been thinking? Even the man that had bitten him as a child – Fenrir Greyback – was doomed to the same pitiless namesake. This time a Norse myth, Fenrir was a giant wolf demon tricked into a set of chains by the gods. It was a cruel joke that almost made him believe in fate every time he thought about the matter.

Normally, Remus wasn't a person who would ever consider fate into the equation of his life. Schedules, books, order – he understood these things unfailingly. The thought of his life being controlled so satirically by the cold hands of the divine, however, sent a cold shiver to the base of his spine.

He suddenly began to wish fervently for his friends to return with their usual whirlwind of activity. This was one of the many reasons he was so fond of them – they always created such a blur of noise, destruction, and general good-natured chaos around him that it left him no time, no _room_ to brood about things so silly as namesakes.

His wish was granted in a rather painful manner as he felt some invisible spell whack into his left shoulder – James' pre-arranged signal to Remus that the rest of the Marauders were outside. The fact that the shop had been magically expanded combined with Remus' tendency to lose himself in a good book made it rather hard to find a person within the shelves. Especially when Sirius refused to set foot in the store.

"Moony! Hey, Moony, you still in here?" That was James – and he sounded as though he were in a frighteningly good mood about something.

"I'll be right out, James!" he yelled towards what he thought was the front of the shop – he wasn't particularly sure, as his sense of direction always became mangled in this part of the building. Looking fondly at the astronomy set, he promised quietly, "I'll be back for you next week. I just have to beat James at a few card games, and you'll be mine."

He grabbed his coat off the chair, turned around, and –

And there was _Sirius_. Sirius, in one of the few places he had sworn he would never, ever venture into. Sirius, looking positively ravishable after the rain had gotten through his hair. Sirius, who was staring at him with a trace of an unidentifiable something in his eyes. _Like that time he'd smashed into the castle while racing James on those new brooms and gotten concussed,_ Remus thought. Sirius, who was wearing those tight Muggle pants that were very clearly not designed to take on water, but still very much alright with Remus. Sirius, who very clearly _wasn't supposed to be there_.

"_Padfoot?_ What the hell?"

* * *

Five minutes earlier, Sirius had stood restlessly underneath the awning of Borgin and Burkes, trying in vain to keep the rain from soaking him further. James and Peter were inside, looking for Moony, and had left him at the front door as per usual. He'd made good on the oath to never set foot in the store, and fully intended to keep it until his dying day. He had a similar oath regarding Madame Puddifoot's shop, but for entirely different reasons. 

_I wonder if he's alright._ Last time it took them this long to find him, Moony'd been trapped underneath a literal avalanche of books. To his credit, the werewolf hadn't actually started the wreckage of literature – it had been some kid on the other side crawling up the bookcase to get to some enormous tome up top. Sirius clearly remembered that both Remus' and the child's first concern had been whether or not all of the books had survived the fall intact, despite the fact that both of the boys had been bleeding in various, uncomfortable-looking places. He'd never seen two people that close to hyperventilation at the same time in his entire life, especially when they'd realized that some of the blood coming out of their wounds was getting on the pages of the nearby books. Sirius smiled fondly. _It was like meeting a little Moony-clone. _He frowned_. Well, I hope he wasn't _that_ crazy as a kid. That stupid. That – where the hell is he, anyway?_

He looked worriedly into the shop, the glass panes making it seem as though the whole room was underwater. He turned away in a huff, facing across the street and looking out towards the shops across the way. He told himself very firmly that he wasn't impatient, he wasn't worried, and he most certainly was not going into that store. _But..._

_Maybe I should go in after him. I mean, he could be hurt or –_

_Wait. Whoa. Hold up._ Sirius shook his head, spraying droplets of water onto the already soaking cobblestone. _What am I thinking? I'm not going in there! I have principles! _

_Well, not really, but that hasn't stopped me before!_

His head swam for a split second, the rain making the scenery almost indistinguishable. He blinked as suddenly his entire line of previous thought was nullified by an overwhelming sense of wrongness. A barrage of almost hysterical thoughts overcame him. _I have to rescue him! He could be in danger! He could be dead, or dying, or being eaten by a monstrous plant! Only I, the great Sirius Black, can rescue him from such a cruel fate! Evil will rue the day that it decided to take hold of someone so important to me!_

His head swam again, and the building across the street came back into focus, though there seemed to be a blue haze around the edges of his vision._ Well, that's new, _he thought_. Aw, what the hell. I've got nothing else to do._

And he strode through the door, bells ringing merrily. He pushed past James, who looked rather surprised at his appearance, following a tugging pull that seemed connected to the center of his chest.

_Also new. What the hell is going on here?_

But Sirius, always one to act on impulse rather than forethought, merely followed the persistent tugging that he simply _knew_ would lead him to Remus. Past the bookshelves stocked with glittering titles – he spotted at least ten on his way through that he knew Moony would love – past the section of quills and study materials, past the potion ingredients that sparkled out at him through menacingly colored bottles, and straight to the astronomy section.

_Well, alright, I could have seen that coming_, he thought, half to the pull at his chest and half to the world in general. He saw the brown-haired boy in question kneeling next to a glass box filled with thousands of different pinpricks of light. This section of the shop was well lit, and painted in blue and silver that, in Sirius' mind, clashed horribly with the wooden floor. Display boxes littered the ground, pamphlets and posters everywhere, encouraging people to "Buy Now!" Remus patted the top of the box, and it lit up where his hand touched.

_Interactive_, thought Sirius. _He really only picks the best, doesn't he?_

"…I'll be back for you next week. I just have to beat James at a few card games, and you'll be mine."

_Maybe I should buy it for him. Wouldn't that be nice? _

Remus reached for the coat he had placed on a nearby chair – gray and rather ragged, but still of obviously good quality – still smiling at the kit.

_He might smile at _me_ like that…_

"_Padfoot?_ What the hell?" Remus' eyes had widened when he saw the other boy. Sirius stared. _His eyes – like amber, like honey, like –_

_Alright, what the hell is wrong with me?_ Sirius blinked, wondering why the world was so fuzzy.

"I'm here to rescue you," popped out of his cheerfully traitorous mouth, and he found himself _scooping Remus into his arms_ – _he_ certainly hadn't told his arms to make that movement, but then, his mind rationalized, he'd done weirder things when _not_ under the influence of Miss Rosmerta's Butterbeer. Again, he felt himself consciously overriding the more balanced part of his brain in favor of whatever these new thoughts were after, and simply not caring that he had just done so.

_In his arms_, the werewolf he held _stiffened_, and Sirius felt his legs _brushing against Remus' dangling feet_, but Sirius just kept walking towards what he thought must be the exit, but on second glance turned out to be the _back rooms_.

_Major déjà vu_, thought Sirius. _Where have I heard this before?_

He thought. And thought.

And then the cogs inside his overworked, underpaid brain clicked into place. _Bloody hell, I'm replaying Moony's smut book!_

And before his mind went to the Very, Very Bad Place of Things That Were Decidedly Not Good for All in Question, Sirius inadvertently dropped Moony onto the hard, dusty floor. The werewolf landed with a startled "Oomph!" that indicated he had obviously not had the reflexes to break his fall properly. Sirius noted with some amount of panic that Remus' golden-brown locks were getting covered in dust from all of the nearby books.

"Sirius, what's your _problem?_" yelled Remus, rubbing at one of his wrists. "If you wanted me to get out of here faster, you could have just asked me, you moron!"

The black haired boy tried to rapidly gain control of his world. "I – sorry, Rem. I got distracted." He pointed vaguely to a corner of the room. "Shiny things over there, you know?"

Remus humored him, glancing quickly into the offending corner before his features became icy. "Pads, that's a display of pickled toads. They are decidedly not shiny." He looked extremely frustrated with his friend, and ready to hit something. "I ask you again, _what is wrong with you?_"

Sirius took the route that always seemed to work when dealing with the angry side of Remus. Laugh, smile, brush it off. A simple, three-step process. "Nevermind – let's just go back, alright? James and Peter are waiting for us, I'm sure."

This seemed to be a verifiable day of firsts, as Remus' metaphorical hackles rose while his eyes narrowed. Sirius' brain thought this to be horribly unfair, and a rather unnecessary show of hostility to boot, but the werewolf continued on. "James and Peter can wait. You need to tell me what's wrong _right now_." Sirius had the overwhelming idea that Moony sounded all of four years old. "Why did you come in here, Pads? You _never_ come in here. You swore to me that you'd rather face a herd of rampaging hinkypunks than set foot in this shop. Then you scoop me up like I'm your fucking _bride_ before you drop me on the floor!" He crossed his arms and did his obvious best to look intimidating in comparison to his usual mild-mannered appearance. "Now you are going to stand there – or sit on the floor, I'm not particularly demanding on that point – and tell me what you're trying to pull!"

Sirius glared back at him as his entire mind, body and soul screamed out that he needed to comfort Remus, give him chocolate and flowers and perhaps a nice hug. "Just drop it, alright? It's nothing. Can we go now?"

"No."

"Remus, come on."

"I said _no_. Now tell me what kind of asinine spell you're trying to put on me so I can go down to the breakfast table tomorrow _without_ looking like a complete and utter idiot."

_He thinks I'm trying to prank him?_ Well, that explained it. Remus always got especially tetchy about pranks when the full moon was coming. James thought it was something about Moony being afraid that pranks would blow his cover during the full moon. Peter had maintained some sort of gibberish about Remus' inner prefect always trying to balance out the inner chaos of the wolf, and so it went on overtime to compensate. Sirius merely stuck with the tried and true hypothesis of werewolf PMS.

But now was the not the time to voice such an opinion. "Rem, it's not like that, I swear. I'm just thinking about…about stuff, you know?"

Remus' eyes hardened imperceptibly, and Sirius caught it. "Stuff. Right, well, I see," he said coldly. "Let's go then, shall we?" He waved a hand towards the hallway indicating that Sirius should go ahead. _He doesn't even want me to walk behind him_, Sirius realized, feeling a little hurt.

They walked in silence to where James and Peter were waiting, Sirius feeling Remus' eyes fixated on his back all the way there. The other two looked taken aback as they saw the solemn looks on the faces of their friends, but wisely refrained from commenting.

The silence finally got to Sirius. _This is stupid_, he thought, and pulled Remus up to walk next to him, as a sort of truce – he took it as a good sign that the werewolf actually let himself be pulled along – without breaking the silence. James and Peter followed in a similarly solemn fashion, though they were obviously questioning the series of events. The four of them passed wordlessly through the door into the chilling rain.

Sirius looked over to Remus, who shivered a little bit against the wind. The ragged gray material of his coat looked insufficient to fight off any sort of cold, and he briefly wondered how Remus could stand it. He sighed as the fuzzy feeling came through his head again, and reached for the silver buttons of his own wool coat. He draped it over the werewolf's shoulders, where it promptly made him look three times his natural size, but three times warmer as well.

As the thick black fabric stopped Remus' shivering, the fuzzy feeling dissipated from his head, and Sirius began to get a horrible, wonderful idea. Remus gave him an apologetic smile, restoring some amount of ease to the entire group. Sirius had always admired him for that – being able to make people feel at ease with naught but a single glance. He smiled back, and found himself hoping that the same smile made Remus feel just as at peace with himself.

_Yes,_ he thought. _Definitely an idea._ Something big, something flamboyant, and, most importantly, something suitable of his exhibitionary nature.

James and Peter exchanged a gleeful smirk. Wrapped up in their own little world, neither the werewolf nor the dog-animagus noticed a thing.

* * *

Insert one pack of nightfall, mix with sunrise, and bake at 350 degrees for 9 hours. Serve Day Three fresh out of the oven.

* * *

Trying to tie a tie while running down a moving staircase was _not_ the most acrobatically inclined maneuver Remus had ever attempted. However, it seemed as though he was having a bit of an off morning thanks to the impending full moon, and his coordination completely abandoned him as the local trick staircase caught him off guard and sent him sprawling down a full flight of stairs. 

_Well, bugger_, he thought, almost in slow motion as the vertigo of unintentional flight overtook him, _I'm going to get my head smashed in. Won't the papers have a field day with that one? 'Werewolf Dies of Nasty Turn With Gravity, details on page 6'._

The corners of what seemed like every neutrally colored black stair hit him as he rolled in a defensive sort of position that was now automatic. The Marauders, as a generalized rule, got themselves into scrapes that involved falling off of things, falling into things, and the inevitable case falling off of things and into things, so his father had enrolled him in a Muggle defense class the summer after his first year at Hogwarts. However, it seemed as though all those perfectly good lessons would go to waste simply because he'd never learned basic walking procedure. He closed his eyes tightly, anticipating the pain as he hit the bottom step as his mind came up with gruesome color-copied photos of his death.

_And here I was going to apologize for being such a prat to Sirius, too. Pity, that. I had a decent speech worked up._

The pain came – he quite clearly felt a hand crunch under the weight of his opposing knee – but not quite what he had come to consider as the pain of death. Something comparatively soft had broken the twenty-step fall, and Remus rolled to a stop at the bottom of the landing, still entangled with whatever had been so soft and giving. He was positively overjoyed to have escaped death by such a seemingly narrow margin, and lay still as he thanked every deity he'd ever been taught of.

Until, of course, his soft-and-giving barrier started verbally protesting his existence.

"Get off of me, you little half-breed shit!" His impromptu landing pad seemed to not only have a mind of its own, but a fairly peeved one at that. Remus jumped up as fast as his bruised body would allow, recognizing the hissing voice to be none other than the irascible Severus Snape.

_Snape. This is just not my morning, is it?_ "I'm sorry, are you alright?" Remus gritted his teeth and reached out with his uninjured hand to help the Slytherin up. He got the expected response – his hand was quickly slapped away by the greasy boy. It always took a toll on Remus to have any sort of interaction with Severus – Snape had never shown him anything but animosity, and Remus simply could not stand people that hated him for no definable reason. He was learning to bear it with a smile, though, and it helped to know that Severus couldn't really do anything to him that would be permanently damaging, thanks to an oath from Snape to Dumbledore. It only applied under Hogwarts roof, technically, but it was good enough for Remus.

Snape stood up, dusted himself off in a way that simply screamed pureblooded authority, and picked up his bag. "Just stay out of my way, got it? I want nothing to do with you or _your kind_, Lupin."

And with that, he strode away, carefully taking the time to sneer disdainfully at the mess that Remus had left as his schoolbooks tumbled out of his bag during the fall. His books splayed everywhere, Remus gave an unhappy sigh and began to _Accio_ them from odd corners around the school – some had had the indecency to fall off the railing and onto the ground below, and he'd never have found them otherwise. As he picked up the last one, Remus momentarily froze as he felt an odd sensation at the back of his neck, and knew, with an incredibly foreboding feeling, exactly what it was.

Unexplainable, unparalleled, and not-quite-unfounded panic.

It was that tingling that he'd gotten the first time he'd met the Marauders on the train, and each of them was holding a box of new Filibuster Fireworks. It was that numbness he'd felt when Sirius had decided to make a twenty foot high tribute to Wendyln the Weird out of Muggle beer cans – and insisted that Remus help him drink his was through them all. It was the awareness he'd received the night Sirius had decided that it would be funny to tell Severus exactly where Remus went during the full moon.

It was a plan of Sirius Black's about to go very, very wrong.

With some trepidation he stepped into the Great Hall, debating whether or not to use his bookbag for a shield.

All hell broke loose.

It was somewhat akin to the day the Marauders had celebrated his birthday last year – after, of course, he had expressedly forbade them from doing so. It had somehow turned into a weeklong festival, with every morning starting off with some sort of dancing animal (the idea had appalled him at first, but he'd rather come to love the dancing kangaroo routine and now kept a wizarding picture of it in his nightstand for those days when the whole world seemed to spite him) accompanied with the suits of armor spraying confetti on him everywhere he went (keeping him in a constant haze of brightly colored paper that tended to explode when it came in contact with Slytherins), large banana trees decorating the whole castle (Remus had never really understood this, but he believed it had something to do with the Potter Family Vacation being in Bali that year), and each and every table, chair, wall, ceiling, and floor had sported at least one encryption of "Happy Birthday, Moony!" (that sang when poked with any sort of human flesh).

The kangaroos were back. One was spitting in Snape's goblet as he tried to keep it from tasting the bacon off his plate, and they seemed to have acquired necklaces and tutus somewhere along the line.

The suits of armor were back. Three were already moving towards him, no doubt intending to assault him with the never-ending streams of paper that always got caught in his nose.

The banana trees were most certainly back. Each one seemed to be sporting a pair of doves.

But the writing – the writing was completely different. Bright pink lettering laced with golden sparkles battered his eyes as the words "Sirius loves Remus!" "Sirius loves Remus!" "SIRIUS LOVES REMUS!" reverberated throughout the hall again and again and again, creating a sickening, high-pitched chorus.

_My God_, thought Remus as he peered numbly at what should have been the infamous Hogwarts' morning-sky-replicate, _he even managed to get it on the ceiling._

_What's going on?_

Sirius caught sight of Remus at the doors and immediately jumped in a smooth motion from his bench to the top of the table, neatly avoiding a plate of sausages and a goblet of pumpkin juice. Normally, this would not have been cause for excitement – the students of Hogwarts were by now well used to Sirius Black's blatant misuse of furniture. However, the rest of the impressive scenery seemed to have garnered their attention, and the Great Hall was quiet within seconds.

When Sirius Black wanted attention, by Merlin, he got it. Standing with his arms in the air like some glorified stage performer, he shouted, "My friends, I have an extremely important announcement for you that requires your utmost attention. On yesterday's Hogsmeade trip, I grievously injured someone very dear to me, and would like to take the time to formally apologize to him. I, Sirius Black, protector of all things Gryffindor, would like to introduce you to my one true love, Remus Jonathon Lupin!"

_Oh, dear_, thought Remus. _I really hadn't planned my morning to start out with public humiliation._

It was a mark of just how desensitized the students and staff of Hogwarts had become that as roses burst forth from every goblet in the Great Hall, there was only a spattering of applause. Even Professor McGonagall had, at the urgings of a bemused Dumbledore, learned to just let everything play out and enjoy the show, as the mess could usually be cleaned up afterwards. Sirius minced his way between breakfast plates to the far end of the table – simply walking on the ground had apparently never occurred to him – and he jumped nimbly from the wooden surface, cloak billowing as he hit the ground. He extended in such a perfectly exhibitionary manner that Remus heard a few of the Ravenclaw girls emit squeaks of poorly concealed joy.

"Remus, would you be mine? Forever and ever and ever?"

_He's joking he's joking he's joking he's joking._ Truly dumbfounded and trying not to question why the kangaroo still intent on attacking Snape's breakfast wanted bacon, of all things, when he knew for a _fact_ that kangaroos were of an herbivore species, he was having trouble sorting the world out. "I – what? Is this what you were planning yesterday, Pads?" His mind whirled, trying to make sense of it all as the students of Hogwarts peered interestedly at them, and he started to ramble. "And it's much too early for all this nonsense – couldn't you at least have waited until lunchtime when we're all properly awake? A simple 'I'm sorry' would have done the trick just fine, really. Dropping me on the ground doesn't need this much of an apology, Pads."

_What kind of a sick, twisted apology is this, anyway?_

Sirius (who was clearly only half-following anything that came out of Remus' mouth) looked appalled and shoved a conjured bouquet of roses at Remus (who caught them only by sheer luck) as he cast himself into a truly spectacular twirl that any drama queen would have been quite proud of. "I could not have possibly allowed your very soul to remain injured for such an inordinate amount of time! Do you think me so barbaric as to hide my true feelings from the world?"

Remus felt a twitch above his left eye beginning to form, and forced himself to remember that Sirius was merely bored, and was obviously doing this all for show in a very joking manner. "No, but a little tact wouldn't hurt any of us," he muttered.

A now-bored spectator (who Remus swore he would add to his "Kill Sooner Rather Than Later" list) yelled out from the student body, "Kiss him!"

A whistle.

A catcall.

_By Merlin, they're chanting!_

Sirius turned with a smile back to the crowd, making a cutting motion with his arm that brought immediate order back to the mob. McGonagall, Remus noted, looked duly impressed.

"A kiss, then, to prove my undying love and devotion!" he declared.

Remus felt his eyebrows shoot up and his bookbag drop to the floor. "Sirius, you're joking."

Clearly, he wasn't, for in three short strides Sirius had spanned the distance between them and completely covered Remus' mouth with his own. Stunned and shocked, Remus couldn't so much as move as he was slammed against the nearest wall of the Great Hall, though he felt his face grow an amazing shade of red that the Marauders tended to compare with an astonishing array of red fruit whenever he became flustered. His mind, still clogged by sleep, was down to one-word repetitions of _badbadbadbadbad! _as he felt Sirius' hand slide behind his head, and really, weren't people supposed to need air at some point during these sorts of encounters, and bloody hell, was Sirius possessed, because that could really only be his tongue pressing against Remus' lips and –?

And the bell rang, causing the verifiable stampede of students to flood through the doors out of the Great Hall and into their classes. It was over as soon as it had begun, and Remus felt no less confused than when the scene had begun.

Sirius, apparently unaffected by any part of his display, broke away from Remus, summoned his bag from the nearby table, and proclaimed loudly, "Onto the next quest of valor and honor, my friends!" as he strode through the door.

No one took notice as Remus slumped against the wall, sliding to the floor and feeling his hands shaking, too weak to even call after Sirius. _What in the world just happened?_ he finally asked himself. _That was over the top – even for Sirius. There has to be some sort of explanation. Something. Anything._

He sat there for less than a minute, as he was severely lacking in both answers and ideas, before his natural demeanor of order and control began to take over. He found his dropped bookbag, swung it over his shoulder, and began the trek to Ancient Ruins – a class that, thankfully, he did not share with any of the Marauders. Then, looking pensively up the stairways, he saw two things that immediately concerned him.

The first was James and Peter moving, without care or inhibition, along to their next class two floor. They exchanged a gleeful high-five, trading what could only be described as maniacal grins.

_They didn't...Please tell me they didn't put him up to this..._

The second was, though somewhat less puzzling, of a more pressing nature. It was none other than Miss Lily Evans, standing at the foot of the stairs; hand on her hip, motioning for him to follow. Her face was mixed with pity and what could only be described as knowledge.

_Well, bugger_, thought Remus. _Bugger, bugger, bugger._

"Hey, Remus. Let's talk."

_Bugger._

* * *

Lily led him straight to the prefects meeting room, against his heavy protestations. "Will you shut up, Remus? Professor Vector gave us a pass." As soon as they were inside the obviously ancient room, decorated solely by the armaments of the Founders and an exceedingly large amount of desks, she slammed the door and ordered him to take a seat. Remus had always hated those chairs – they only faced one direction, and were crowded closely enough that he always felt caged in when he was here. Not to mention the damn things were probably as old as the school – and hence about as comfortable as sitting on rotting log. 

He had no time to pay attention to his personal comfort, though, since Lily took the initiative and swung another desk around to face him. "Alright Remus, spill. What was all that at breakfast about?"

Remus winced. "Really, Lily, we should be going to class."

She waved it off just like the four previous times. "No, Remus. Now tell me. I'm getting really sick of all the secrets you and your little friends keep hiding from me."

Remus unconsciously tensed, and had to force himself to relax. "Lily, really, there's nothing to tell. Sirius has been getting bored lately – have you noticed James has been cutting down on the pranks so he can impress you? – and I'm sure he just needed some sort of ...distraction. That, and I rather snapped at him earlier yesterday – I think he believed he owed me an apology."

She smiled, managing to make a face at the same time. "I suppose I have you to thank for the lack of Potter-induced chaos, don't I?"

Remus tried his best to look sheepish. "Well, yes – but he went along with it, you'll notice, and you have to give him credit for trying."

She huffed at him. "I most certainly do not! And no changing the subject, Remus. I know there's something going on, and I'd like you to tell me before I'm forced to tell you what I know." She smiled at him. "You're really the only guy friend I have, moron."

Much to the dismay of James, Lily and Remus had started up a steadfast friendship when they became the prefects for Gryffindor House together. Remus liked to listen to Lily talk – she was an undeniably intelligent human being, and gave him a break from the outright stupidity of some of his dorm-mates – and Lily... Well, he wasn't particularly sure why Lily hung around him, but he'd always thought it was for generally the same reasons he'd hung around with her. The fact that they would never quite come to terms over the function of the Marauders usually kept them out of their conversations, as neither was quite rationale about it, and they knew that.

But he hadn't told her everything. In fact, he hadn't told her anything, really. Nor was he about to start, if he could help it. "I'm sorry, Lily, but you've got to believe me when I say there's nothing to tell."

She sighed, chewing her lip and contorted her pretty face into a mask of frustration. "Alright, fine. We'll reverse this. I know two things about you, Remus; can you guess what they are?"

He glared rather coldly at her. "I'm sure I can't, Lils. And as a matter of fact, I resent this sort of questioning completely."

He could see that she barely refrained from rolling her eyes at him. However, as was her trademark for every class he'd ever had the joy of competing against her in, completely on task, delivering her facts with an almost startling disregard for fluffed conversation. "One," she began, counting off on her fingers, "I know about your 'furry little problem'."

_Shit!_ Remus' mind quickly tried to take that in and mask his facial features in one fell swoop as a coursing panic overtook him. "I – I'm sorry, my what?"

"Your _lycanthropy_, Remus, how many fur-related problems do you have? I – what are you doing? Remus, that hurts!"

Remus had grabbed both of her hands in what he hoped wasn't a literal bone-crushing grip and gotten down on his knees in front of her. It was humiliating and it hurt and the wolf _screamed_ out to not submit to such a weak human, but he had to, he absolutely _had _to get her to listen to him.

This was what he had always feared – that someone had found out about his secret, without his prior knowledge. She could have done anything – told someone, planned his imminent demise, or any number of gruesome scenarios that, while unlikely in reference to Lily, weren't unfounded fears. Humans had not been kind to werewolves, on the whole, and his mind was working on overload at the moment, making for a panicked state of affairs.

He stared directly into her eyes, hoping for a pleading face but knowing that he was only acquiring a look of unconditional panic. "Lily – Lily, you have to _listen to me._ You can't tell anyone, do you hear me? No one can find out, or I'm _dead._ Literally, positively _dead_. They'll have an executioner out here by tomorrow, afraid that I've bitten someone, Lily, and I just _can't let that happen._ Do you understand me? _Please_ say you understand. You're free to hate me, I'll do _anything_ you want – hell, I'll convince James to stay away from you if that's what it takes, but please, _please_ don't tell anyone. I know you're from a Muggle family, and you might not understand the seriousness of the situation, but – _why are you laughing?_"

His panic only increased as he spotted the tears of laughter streaming from Lily's eyes – and Remus wasn't sure how to interpret them. "Rem, do you honestly think I'd be here if I was planning on telling anyone else? I've known for years – your dear friends really aren't all that discreet, did you know that?" Lily looked back at him and he could see the honesty in her eyes. "Rem, I promise I'd never tell anyone without your permission. Ever. And I'm not enough of a bigot to assume that just because someone isn't just like me, they're automatically evil."

Remus stood and slid slowly back into his seat, hands still shaking from the rush of adrenaline. "I know, Lils, really I do. This just isn't a subject I can quite keep my head about, you know? It's," he took a deep, shuddering breath, "terrifying. Positively terrifying. And – it's just – you're really alright with this?"

"I swear," she said, trying to lighten the mood as she stuck out a pinky finger.

Amused by the childish display, Remus hooked his longer digit around her own. He felt relieved just from her complete calm. "Thanks, Lils. You really are an amazing person."

"No, don't be thanking me yet, Lupin. I'm not through with you." She smiled wryly. "I am going to phrase this as painlessly as I can. What is there between you and Black?"

_Oh, for..._ "In terms of what, Lils?" he asked cautiously, hoping she wouldn't be blunt enough to put the obvious subject into words.

Lily was having none of that, and he should have seen it coming. "In terms of the question, 'Are you shagging or just snogging?'"

Had Remus been trying to drink anything at that moment in time, he would have choked. As it was, he still got the feeling of ridiculous hysteria that sent him into laughing fit. "You're kidding me, Lily. You've got to be joking."

"How often do I joke about this sort of thing?"

"Never," was out of his mouth before he could stop it, but it really was the truth. He'd never seen Lily more serious than when she was dealing, in her take-charge way, with relationships of other students.

He'd always thought she'd make a great psychologist...

"Remus – earth to Remus!"

He snapped out of his reverie concerning Lily in a white lab coat with a clipboard, soothingly telling each and every student within Hogwarts to simply lie back and tell her how it all made them _feel_. He sighed. "Let me be the first to assure you that there is absolutely nothing happening between Sirius and I."

She looked at him shrewdly, a certain tone creeping into her voice that only girls seemed to be able to acquire. "But you _want_ there to be?"

It finally hit home where she was taking this, and he wasn't going to take it lying down. He put a touch of anger into his voice to dispel her. "I do not, Lily! Give it up already, would you?" He stood from his chair and efficiently swung his bag over his shoulder for what seemed like the hundredth time that morning.

Lily, however, had other plans and moved to intercept his pathway. "I will not! Remus, half the school can see it, even if you can't! You want to know why that display this morning got no reaction whatsoever? Hm? It's because most everyone had already accepted it as truth, you imbecile!"

_What?_ The frustration was building – this was just too much stress for one morning. He felt the anger rise as he tried to make her understand. "Will you listen to what you're _saying_, Lily?"

"What do you mean?"

He exploded at her, rage and frustration completely taking over. "Put the pieces together, if you're so smart! You can see where my life is going, can't you? I'm off to survive in a world that hates me for my very existence, and now you want me to admit to another handicap? Does it even register in your mind what the wizarding world makes of my kind? Now let's add the title of 'Nancy Boy' to that – you've got to be kidding." He continued bitterly. "Can you even comprehend the shame our society puts in a gay _werewolf?_ Not just a homosexual wizard, Lily, but a werewolf as well! I might as well be _dead_, Lily! Dead to both sides of this impending war, or at least living with a deathwish, just because I'm not pureblood, and I'm in no way traditional. I'm a walking heretic!" He clenched his fists against the wood of a desk, his arms shaking. "Nothing I do can really help me, Lils, but I'm not about to make it worse."

She looked at him sadly. "You're going to sacrifice love for what other people think of you? I thought better of you, Remus, I really did."

He found himself dumbfounded, then chuckled, seeing that he still hadn't gotten his point across. "Love? Don't go saying things without support, Lily, that's the first rule of Magical Theory Class – which I _believe_ you currently hold the top score for. We don't know that I love Sirius, and he_ certainly_ doesn't love me. This could turn out to be a giant mistake. Lily, this is my entire future we're talking about. Whether I like it or not, how society views me is important to my very survival. I don't think you understand that."

She whipped out his finger and pointed accusingly at his nose, making him go a little cross-eyed in the effort to stare at it. "I don't think _you_ understand, Remus. This isn't about your future. You're thinking way too far ahead. Try living in the present for once, will you?" She eyed him, apparently unfazed by anything he'd said so far. "Now the question is very simple, Remus – do you like Sirius?"

"Well, maybe, but –"

She shook her head, cutting him off. "No buts! Do you like him?"

He looked at the floor, the embarrassment of the situation finally getting to him. "Yes. Yes, I suppose I do."

She smiled triumphantly, clapping him on the back and making him flinch. "Well, it's a shame to lose a fine specimen such as yourself to the other team, Mister Lupin, but I think the female population will survive. However, since I assume we're still allowed to ogle you, I do believe I'll help you out." She flashed a smile at him. "What's your gameplan?"

"My what?"

She rolled her eyes at him. "Try not to be an idiot, Remus. How are you planning on moving the bane of my existence, Sirius Black, Marauder Extraordinaire to Sirius Black, Late Night Lover?"

"Lily!" Remus felt a blush rising to his face, which only increased when Lily noticed it.

"What, I'm not supposed to think about these things? I know _you're_ thinking about these things, Remus Lupin, you've already admitted to it."

_When did she become such a ballbuster?_ He sighed, seeing that he wasn't about to get out of this. "I don't have a plan, Lils. I just came to grips with it myself." Thinking of what he'd seen before he spied Lily, he added waspishly, "And you know what? Your little boyfriend isn't helping any, either. I think he and Peter had something to do with this."

Now she looked intrigued – intrigued enough to not retaliate on James' status as her boyfriend. "Really? Why do you say that?"

He wrinkled his brow, trying to find the right words. "Call it Marauder intuition."

She gave him a purely patronizing look. "Oh, _that's_ reliable." She straightened up, gathering her own books, but looking thoughtful all the same. "Well, either way, we're well overdue in Ancient Ruins, and I'd rather not miss the rest of Vector's lecture, if I can help it. You're the person I always count on for notes, so we're in hot water if the rest of the class decided to slack off."

He nodded and followed suit, visibly glad that the interrogation was over. "Right. Let's get going, then." He was silent for a few minutes of their walk before he thought he'd take another crack at what James had firmly instilled in him as sacred Marauder duty. "Lily, remember what you said about how incredibly accepting you are? Why don't you try and apply that theory to James?"

She whipped out her wand faster than he could react, red hair flaring. "Do you really want to continue that train of thought, Lupin? Because I have a few new charms that are just itching to be tried out on the first person that pisses me off."

He grinned cheekily. "Just thought I'd try," he said, opening the classroom door for her.

* * *

I seem to have forgotten how incredibly addictive reviews are. I'm trying to make it a habit to respond to reviews directly before a new post, because it was incredibly effective when someone else did it. I'm thinking CathyBloom1, but I could be wrong.

Updates should be on a regular once-a-week Friday or Saturday night basis (depending on how much Chemistry has killed me that week). Hope you enjoy!

We've still got a long ways to go, my friends. We're talking a seven-and-a-half page outline here, plus the ideas for sequels and odd add-ins that are ravaging my brain. We've made it through one of those pages, officially.

JewelValentine


	3. Chapter 3

Unimportant Notations from the Authoress:

-Listening to the uber-cheese that is the "Total Eclipse of the Heart" song.

-Geez. It's fun to write for Lucius (who I can't bring myself to call 'Malfoy'). It's like a "How much slime can I pack in one sentence?" game. I think I'm developing a fangirl crush on him.

-James bores the hell out of me. He's not going to be even remotely interesting for thousands and thousands of words. Damn.

-As I write this, I generally skip over parts that disinterest me until I absolutely have to write them, tagging the missing parts in red letters. Lately, I find myself labeling them, "More of Sirius Making an Ass out of Himself Here" and "Insert Fangirl Swooning" and the ever popular, "Remus Angsts. And Angsts and Angsts and Angsts. Flesh It Out Before Giving the Boy a Cookie and Some Goddamn Midol."

-This portion brought to you in a 3:8 slap-per-pagebreak ratio.

* * *

Still day three, folks.

* * *

James and Peter followed Sirius to their next class – Divination. While Remus had opted for the more studious Ancient Ruins, the rest of the Marauders were all for the 'slacker class' that required nothing more than an overactive imagination and a sense of drama.

Needless to say, Sirius was the top student.

Entering the room with a flourish, Sirius conjured a mystical-looking headband from seemingly nowhere, fastened it around his forehead, and billowed out his robes before he lounged in an overly decorated chair by the fire. He was the very picture of a Seer – and judging by the flock of girls that had swarmed him as soon as he sat down, he was in top form today. He quieted them off with a wave of his hand, claiming that his inner eye was overly sensitive this morning, and loud noises or bright lights mustn't be allowed, lest they disturb him.

The cooing trimmed itself to a dull roar. Barely.

"Really, my beauties, I appreciate your attention." He gave a dramatic sigh and put a finger up to the jawbone of the nearest witch. "Alas that my heart is already bound to another, for if it were not, I would willingly become a slave to beauty such as yours."

"Oh, _Sirius..._"

"Sirius, tell us _more..._"

He smiled, seemingly able to look every girl directly in the eye at once. "Who knows, my lovelies? Maybe my true love will agree to something that would accommodate for you as well. Something...unconventional."

This was as per his normal behavior, but James (and Peter, to a lesser extent), normally joined him. Today, however, James and Peter were too wrapped up in their own conversation to notice this display of talent. The initial glee of a well-done prank had infected both of them, and they'd been celebrating since breakfast.

The two settled together at a table, as James proclaimed in a hushed whisper, "They'll be together by sunset!"

Peter laughed and rolled his eyes. "Not if Sirius keeps this up. You know how much Remus hates public displays." Peter put a pensive finger to his chin. "Actually, when Padfoot went after him this morning, he looked like...like..."

"Like he was going to explode? Like something had actually managed to overwhelm that oversized brain of his?" James sighed. "Yeah. It was amazing, wasn't it?"

"Definitely a first," agreed Peter. He hesitated; afraid he'd been left out of a loop again. "Say, did you even know Padfoot was going to pull that off?"

James shrugged. "No, but I'm not really surprised. I think this spell's completely taken over his mind."

Peter bit his lip. "I'm kind of surprised the spell's not illegal. Isn't it like _Imperio_ if it's controlling his thoughts like that?"

"I never thought of it that way." James shrugged and looked thoroughly unconcerned. "But really, are they going to put the recipe for a potion like that in normal books for students?"

Peter gave him a patronizing look. "They put all the Unforgiveables in our textbooks, Prongs."

"Yeah, but those are the Unforgiveables. The name _alone_ is going to warn people off."

Peter was starting to look uneasy. "Maybe we should take it off anyway. I mean, it's proved the point, right? We know Sirius is in love with Remus –"

"Nah-ah," said James, waggling a finger. "It hasn't proved its point until we know whether or not that love is reciprocated. I say we leave it on until the very end."

"James, that could be really dangerous. What happens if the potion's effects become permanent?"

"Then we're stuck with a Sirius that's slightly more theatrical than we're used to." James dug his textbook out – not that they'd ever so much as cracked open the tome for Divination, but it was still a crucial part of their 'Studious Pupil' ruse. "Really, Pete – nothing's going to happen. Don't worry about it."

Peter sighed, tired of fighting James. "Fine. But I can't help feeling something's going to go wrong."

James made an overdramatic dispelling motion with his hands at Peter's last words. "Peter! What have we said about jinxing things before they even happen?!? You could have ruined the whole thing just like that!"

"James, you don't honestly believe, that do you? I mean –"

_Crash!_

The door nearest to them slammed wide open, causing everyone in the room (save Sirius and his fangirls) to jump in momentary fright. An irate female voice rang out over the entire classroom. "_Sirius Black, you intolerable bastard! What did you do?!_"

James rounded on Peter. "_See!_ Do you see what you did?" Peter made a shushing noise, then gestured for James to shut up and watch.

The girls around Sirius parted in waves, leaving a smiling Sirius in view. "Lacy, darling, how can I help you?" he purred.

James and Peter winced, knowing that while Sirius was amazingly gifted for getting himself into the arms of a girl when she was amiable, he was positively horrid at getting himself out of situations such as these. His track record was less than admirable simply because a raging girl was impossible to placate when in this sort of wrathful mood, and Sirius had no talent at recognizing the trouble he was in. James had gleaned the recognition only from his numerous encounters with Lily, while Peter had always possessed it because of his extraordinary amount of tact.

Lacy was Sirius' last 'girlfriend' – or as close as any girl got to being permanently attached to Sirius Black. She was exactly the sort that he chased after – a small waist, pretty, blonde hair, not one ounce of pureblood in her, and just enough of a tramp to make it an easy thrillride, no effort required. Sirius had spent an illegal evening in Hogsmeade just last week engaging in activities that were probably only semi-legal by any standards of the law and fully irredeemable by anyone's moral compass.

She was, all-in-all, what Sirius deemed, "An easy fuck." Remus usually hit him over the head with the nearest reachable object whenever he said as much, telling him to stop classifying perfectly nice girls in such horrendous ways.

That didn't make it any less true.

However, she seemed slightly more vengeful than what the Marauders were used to dealing with. Sure, Sirius had gotten himself into plenty of scrapes regarding the women he dated – but then, they all had; even Remus and Peter had. Lacy, however, was the first to come after them in class – the revenge tactics used by Marauder abused women usually came to fruition in the dorm rooms, not the classroom.

"You _bastard!_ How could you do this to me? How could you dump me for – _for a guy?_ This is horrible, you monster!" Her voice was rising in pitch and volume as she screamed at him.

Sirius rose from his chair in the same graceful manner as he had landed in it, saying, "Now, really, Lacy. There's no need to overreact."

"I am _not_ overreacting, you perverted man-whore!"

Sirius' eyebrows jumped up. "I beg your pardon?"

Her eyes flashed and she took three quick strides towards him. "You're _dead_ to me, Black. I hope you rot in _hell_," she spat. "As a matter of fact, you _will _rot in hell – along with your damn lover!"

Sirius' face had gone from surprise and shock to pure anger in a matter of seconds. He stood up, fists clenched, but wasn't quick enough to dodge the ringing slap she deposited on his face. "And don't you come near me again!" she yelled, storming quickly from the room.

Sirius' harem swarmed around him, giving words of sympathy and revenge as he lifted his hand gingerly to his cheek. A small amount of blood came away from his hand, and he stared at it in morbid fascination. Gradually, a smile came to his face. "Well," he said slowly, "I guess that makes me completely free then, doesn't it?"

* * *

By nature, Lucius Malfoy was the epitome of a Slytherin. He was the crème-de-la-crème of the wizarding world – not the nouveau riche, but old money that came with power, authority, culture, and sophistication. It wasn't that he had pledged himself into the services of Voldemort – though a noble pursuit, that was just the icing on the cake, and certainly not a requirement of the Slytherin House. He was smart – centuries of what some imbeciles would call 'inbreeding' had not lessened the sharp blade of his mind. He was always calm and collected – to show any of the weaker emotions – rage, embarrassment, or undying loyalty – was to show weakness itself. He believed in patient, calculated revenge – anything rash in this area tended to not only brand one as a Gryffindor, but cause unforeseen errors that were fatal in the future. Most importantly, he always came out on top – and that was mostly thanks to his almost eerie sense of observation.

Though he was a seventh year, he had taken a habit of observing the Potions classes when he had a free period, both to ingratiate himself to Slughorn and watch what occurred. Working in teams to create a potion tended to bring up factions among the students that would otherwise be invisible – and the material he gleaned from his observations was often invaluable. Today in Potions, a class that held both Slytherins and Gryffindors, his observational skills were trying to tell him something; it was just a question of _what_.

He looked around the room – the pairings were easy enough to identify. Slughorn, currently absent from the class, had a habit of pairing the troublemakers with other troublemakers and romantic couples together simply because, in this fashion, they wouldn't hurt the ambitions of others. In this way, he remained popular with both the troublemakers and those of them that were actually in the room to further their knowledge.

He watched as Snape and Avery added the last of the ingredients to their potion – they were well ahead of the class, no doubt thanks to Snape's prowess in the subject. Lily Evans and her friend, Alice soon-to-be-Longbottom, glared at them – obviously jealous that they had finished first. Lucius felt a bit of pride in his house for besting the unworthy Mudblooded, and continued his surveillance.

James Potter, as per usual, was busy staring Evans behind her back. The man might've actually been decent at Potions, if he'd get his act together and stop staring at a girl who obviously didn't care whether he lived or died. The Potters, a family just as high on the social ranking as his own, were always considered to be the 'eccentric' group – their delving into the concept of equality between Mudbloods, half-bloods and Pure-bloods making them something of a laughingstock. They only managed to maintain their dignity through a series of complex dealings that Lucius was sure the newest generation of Potter wasn't even aware of yet.

_No matter. When the time comes, they'll either right themselves or be destroyed with the rest of the filth._

Next to Potter was Sirius Black – obvious traitor of high society. He should have been Lucius' ultimate ally – their bloodlines were impeccable, their wit and resourcefulness unmatched, their families aligned through generations of alliances and business proposals. Nevertheless, something had clearly gone wrong – whether by fault of parent or child, he wasn't certain. Between his infamous cohorts and blatant disrespect for the Noble Slytherin House, Lucius wondered why Black's parents were still funding his expenditures.

Obviously, something had happened this morning – the whole school was buzzing about "The Kiss that Froze Hogwarts" – and many claimed to have seen it coming. Three hours past the actual event, and it was well-established, reasonably well-accepted fact that Remus Lupin and Sirius Black were dating. The gossipmongers had officially deemed it 'old news'.

Lucius wasn't so sure. He'd seen the look on Lupin's face that morning, directly after the kiss, and it was not a look of familiarity. It wasn't even the look of acceptance.

He could really only describe it as the look of a raped virgin.

It was that _look_ that really bothered him – not in some sort of touchy-feely, concern-for-another-human-being sort of way, but for the fact that it simply didn't fit. If Black and Lupin were such a steadfast couple – a couple of any sort – Lupin's reaction should have been less alien no matter how much he abhorred public displays. Lucius had been desperately trying to add up the pieces, but nothing quite fit.

So he continued his study.

Three cauldrons away (Slughorn was _not_ compliant enough to put all the troublemakers in one area of the room together) was the second half of that morning's equation – Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew. Peter Pettigrew – a man of seemingly no importance, yet there was something about him that struck Lucius as familiar. When he tried to put a finger on it, he consistently came up with a mental image of a houself. Powerful, but always in search of a master to guide that power.

Remus Lupin – he was the most interesting one of this group, next to Black. Yes, he was a half-breed, and thereby inconsequential, and Lucius kept that in full account. But behind Lupin's quiet eyes and a peaceful disposition, Lucius had occasionally had caught sight of something more _base_, more _animalistic_ that showed itself at rare intervals. He believed Snape had uncovered a breakthrough in that area, but had unfortunately been bound to secrecy by the overly controlling Headmaster.

None of this was what normally concerned Lucius during this class period. What concerned him on a normal basis – and today as well – was that Lupin was less than twenty feet from his person, and adding ingredients that weren't even listed on the chart.

_Here we go again._

Lucius had noticed that this was a habit of Lupin's – instead of working from instructions, Lupin was purely a theory person. It served well in other classes, as it was paired with an astonishing intelligence – in theory, if you threw a ball of fire at a wood-based nymph, you'd defeated it. That was simple and understandable. Potions, however, was not governed by theoretical means. In theory, adding green plants and what were essentially three types of salt together at a boil should not yield a bright blue substance.

But it did.

Since Lupin worked off theory, he tended to add what he thought would work in a theoretical basis rather than following directions. Blue pixie scales, a lower boiling temperature – things that the Potion warned against explicitly. Lupin thought too much, and more often than not this lead to an explosive event with disastrous effects.

He watched warily as Lupin's cauldron boiled up and over the sides in an electrifying red colour as both boys had their backs turned. Remembering an unfortunate explosion that had occurred just last week, Lucius cast a quick Protego spell to keep himself from being hit by the inevitable blast. 'Boiled alive' was simply not his look.

Sitting back and crossing his arms, he was confident enough in his Protego spell to feel comfortable watching the impending chaos. Leaning in Slughorn's desk almost made him feel..._responsible_ for the matter at hand.

_Dear me,_ he thought, his mind's voice taking on his infamous drawl, _I seem to have made a joke at my own expense._

Eventually, Black looked up and came to the same conclusion he had. Black's actions, however, were a world away from his own.

His eyes widened, and he immediately dropped the knife he was holding – luckily _not_ dropping it into his own foot – and let out a sharp cry of, "Remus!" in a tone that Lucius had not known he'd possessed.

If Lucius didn't know better, he'd have said it was panic.

He and Black had been trained, cultivated since childhood by the very same standards. Even though Black had obviously renounced his pureblood rights, eleven years of pureblood schooling had taken an effect, and Black was never visibly out of his element. Yes, he was excitable, hyperactive even, but he was never flustered – and certainly never publicly worried over another's well-being.

Black's cry turned the heads of many in the room – and most people ducked when they saw the state of Lupin's potion. Lupin himself turned around and looked honestly _surprised_ that something had gone wrong. Lucius didn't see how he could have _not_ seen it coming, but that was not the point at hand in this matter. What mattered was that Black was now charging for Lupin, arms outstretched and magical abilities apparently forgotten, as the cauldron exploded in slow motion.

He watched in disinterest as, still in slow motion, the potion hit, stuck to his own protective shield, and drenched the other students. It wasn't just the explosion, though – _everything _slowed down. Lucius thought at first that his mind was playing tricks on him, but some outside force had _literally_ slowed time – the clock, the explosion, even his own heartbeat.

Something was not right.

Overall, it made for an extremely dramatic scene as Black dove towards Lupin, using his own body to shield his friend from the blast. Black landed directly on top of Lupin, his face not sporting the cheerful superiority that Lucius had expected, but rather full of grave concern. This was not the spontaneous Black that he was used to observing.

Clearly, Lupin was surprised as well – though Lucius allowed that it might have been because he'd just been tackled to the ground by a goo-covered human body. Pettigrew, who had been hit by a full dose of the blast, moved towards Potter to clean himself off as the rest of the students muttered angrily, grabbing rags and wands to repair the damage. It occurred to Lucius that he might be the only one to fully witness this, besides the members of the tight knit little group.

He expected Black to quickly disentangle himself from the other boy, embarrassed by the position, or for Lupin to push him off. Lucius found himself being proved wrong one again, however, as Black didn't remove himself from atop Lupin, and instead grabbed the collar of the other boy's shirt.

_I must be losing my touch._

"Remus! Remus, speak to me! Are you alright?" The panicked tone in Black's voice sounded fake, even to Lucius. _No, not fake, _thought Lucius._ That's real emotion. But it's wrong, somehow. Misplaced? Unintentional? Forced?_

Lupin looked perturbed, but still blushed a deep crimson. _Isn't that interesting?_ "Get off," he said coldly, trying without success to dislodge the larger boy from the odd position on his stomach.

"Don't scare me like that! You could have died! If you died, Remus, do you know what I'd do? I'd die along with you! I'd follow you to the depths of hell, to the ends of the Earth, Remus!" He placed a hand on his heart, still pinning Lupin to the floor. "I swear I'll never leave you!"

Lupin's face was regaining the same panicked look Lucius had observed at breakfast. "Sirius, get off of me. Right now."

Lucius saw Black look down at Lupin, completely ignoring his last request, and time slowed down _further_ than the first time – he felt it. The heat of the room was oppressive, stifling, and he could hear the breathing of the two boys, but no one else's. Not even his own. Not even the conversations of the disgruntled students were audible at this point.

Eyes shining – they were actually _shining_, observed Lucius, with an odd glow coming from the irises if one looked closely enough (perhaps an odd side-effect of the botched potion?) – Black put a careful finger under the other boy's chin, tilting it upwards. Lupin squirmed, biting his lip, but didn't make much of an effort to get away as closed the distance between them and captured the brunette's lips in a soft and gentle-looking kiss.

_Oh, for the bloody love of Merlin. Didn't they already do enough of this at breakfast?_

But Lucius continued to watch.

Lupin looked as though he were actually enjoying the kiss, relaxing into it and ignoring the fact that they were in the _Potions dungeon_, of all places.

But then his fists clenched against the stone floor – a warning sign if Lucius had ever seen one. Lupin broke the contact between them, holding Black's gaze for a full two seconds before letting loose a backhanded strike that landed with a sharp crack against the other's cheekbone. The sound reverberated around the room – actually _reverberated_, and it wasn't Lucius' mind playing tricks on him, he was sure of it.

_He slapped him?_

_That _attracted the room's attention back – and each one of them saw the startled look on Black's face, the look of cold fury on Lupin's. Lupin, with an air of purpose – not fury, not embarrassment – removed himself from underneath Black, gathered his things and strode out of the room, nearly colliding with the returning Professor Slughorn on his way out.

Slughorn took one look about the room, taking in the mass of red potion spattering the walls and desks. "I see we've had another incident," he proclaimed loudly. "So I suppose we'll just have to end early." A flurry of activity greeted these words – students rushing to evacuate the room before he changed his mind, cleaning and gathering materials as they went.

Lucius stayed where he was, watching the people in the back of the room intently as Slughorn shuffled into his office. Black rose slowly from his position on the floor, as though thoroughly shocked. However, he quickly regained momentum and rushed out of the room as quickly as Lupin had before him.

Pettigrew and Potter remained, and in usual Gryffindor fashion paid no attention whatsoever to a looker-on. "James, really, I think we ought to give him the antidote now. At this rate –"

"Peter, honestly. They're just going through a bit of a rough patch. The rising action of the story and all that. It's nothing to be worried about!"

Lucius swore that Pettigrew's eyeballs nearly bugged out of his skull. "Sirius has been slapped twice in one day! That's not right – not when he didn't even cause it!"

They passed by Lucius, their things gathered and slung around their shoulders. "Relax, Peter. If he gets into too much trouble, I swear I'll take the fall for it. Besides, the potion can't take too much longer to run it's course, can it?"

Lucius saw Pettigrew shift uncomfortably – how he could manage that while still walking was quite beyond him, but the boy managed. "How long does it take you to read a novel, James?"

"Between classes? A month, maybe. Why?"

"I'm thinking it could be at least that long until we have our normal Sirius back. Remus isn't going to take this lying down, if he can help it. You know him. He's going to fight whatever Sirius throws at him, especially since he doesn't know what's going on."

Potter's voice sounded joking. "He doesn't have to. Sirius could be the one lying down – I don't think it's a real particular thing."

"James! Don't make jokes like that!"

Their bickering continued around the corner, but Lucius had gotten all the information he needed. He just wanted to check one more piece of information – and that information would only come from Slughorn himself.

"Sir?" he called, hoping the man would come out of his office.

He did, waddling amongst a ream of disorganized papers. "Ah, yes, Mister Malfoy. What can I help you with?"

"What do you make of this potion, sir? Would it affect someone greatly?"

Slughorn raised an eyebrow at him. "Do you think I would have let these students out of the room if I thought it would harm them in any way?"

_Yes_, thought Lucius, but kept it to himself. "So there would be no adverse affects, sir?"

"No," said Slughorn, "When this potion turns red, it means you officially have a dud."

"Thank you, sir," he replied. "Thank you very much."

* * *

_Fact One_: Sirius Black had sexually assaulted Remus Lupin twice in one day, claiming to identify him as his "True Love".

_Fact Two_: James Potter and Peter Pettigrew referred to a potion placed on Sirius Black.

_Fact Three_: Potion mentioned by James Potter and Peter Pettigrew seems to have control of time, space, and Sirius Black's actions.

_Fact Four_: According to James Potter and Peter Pettigrew, said potion had sexual implications.

_Fact Five_: Sirius Black was not influenced by any potion from the potions lab.

_Fact Six_: According to James Potter and Peter Pettigrew, said potion is unknown to Remus Lupin.

_Fact Seven_: James Potter and Peter Pettigrew mentioned 'novel' romance in regard to potion.

_Opinion One_: Remus Lupin has never agreed to be Sirius Black's "True Love".

_Opinion Two_: Remus Lupin is not particularly adverse to the idea of being Sirius Black's "True Love".

_Opinion Three_: Remus Lupin is hiding more than one unknown secret.

_Conclusion_: Lucius Malfoy had a lot of work to do – a lot of work that required a lot of lackeys.

He believed he'd start by recruiting one Severus Snape, who seemed to know a bit more than he should about one Remus Lupin.

* * *

Lily Evans had immediately gone out of the Potions room – Professor Slughorn had a habit of wanting to speak to her every time he had an extra minute, whether she was running on a schedule or not. Therefore, in order to escape, she'd simply ducked out the door and leaned against the wall, waiting for James and Peter, hoping she'd get a chance to talk to them.

What she heard as she was waiting made her heart ache for Remus. _Why are boys so careless? What gives them the right to control others like this, against their own will, without their knowledge?_

_It's barbaric!_

Not that she had _really_ expected anything different out of Potter. He had been toning the pranks down, just like Remus said – but if this was the activity he'd traded them in for...?

Well, she'd rather have the old Potter back, thank-you-very-much. Pranks and all. But at least she knew that Remus had been right – James and Peter had a very heavy hand in this scenario.

_The one and only score for Marauder intuition._

Peter and James finally appeared at the doorway, they both immediately noticed Lily – her head of flaming hair had always made it rather difficult to conceal herself in a crowd. Neither one seemed to have any idea that she'd been listening, but they stopped their line of conversation nonetheless.

Lily saw the signs – the infuriating smirk, the hand that immediately went up to muss his hair – as Potter opened his mouth to yet again ask her out in his uncouth and unrelenting manner. However, she was once again powerless to stop it. "Say, Evans," he drawled, "Whaddya say to a date with me this weekend?"

"No, Potter," she spat at him, and all thoughts of a peaceful conversation concerning Remus' well-being flew out the window. "Get away from me!"

He tilted his head to the side – Bet he learned that from Black – and ran his hand through his hair again, as if it would actually make her think he was desirable. "Aw, come on Evans. We could head to the Shrieking Shack and," he widened that damn smirk that she _swore_ she'd smack off his face, "see who's afraid of the dark."

_That does it_, she thought. She whisked her wand from her pocket and dug the tip into the underside of his jaw. "What part of 'get away from me' do you not understand, Potter? I'm _not interested_."

"Oh, but I think you are, Evans. I can see it in your eyes."

She felt her teeth clench, and quickly took a leaf out of Remus' book, slapping Potter as hard across the face as she could. Feeling rather satisfied as she felt her nails rip across his cheekbone, she whirled around and paced away as quickly as she could muster, red curls bouncing merrily behind her.

_Sorry, Remus_, she said silently. _I swear I'll talk to him when don't feel like eviscerating his manhood. _

She almost snorted_. Like that'll ever happen._

* * *

Remus didn't stop running until he reached the dorm room, adrenaline taking over his thought processes. He collapsed against the back of the door, breathing hard. _Why did I push him away?_

_Isn't this what I wanted?_

Not knowing the answer, he made his way to the dorm's bathroom, making sure to lock the door behind him. Filling a tub with steaming hot water as he divulged himself of clothing, he caught a glimpse of his scars in the mirror. Remus had a vain, love-hate relationship with the scars that criss-crossed his body. They reminded him of the wolf every time he looked at them, it was true. But they weren't all that horrible – they provided him with an excuse to have Sirius gently rub antibiotics into his spine and forearms during each moon. It had become an almost therapeutic session for the both of them – a time of quiet peacefulness that Remus had seen as deeply intimate since Sirius had forcibly taken the job from Madame Pomfrey. That had been after the accident in Fifth year, and it seemed to Remus that it had been Sirius' way of apologizing.

_Well, it worked._

Remus slipped into the hot water, hissing as it hit his sore muscles. He had, by now, officially decided that this had been the day from hell – who knew what tomorrow would bring?

_Two kisses..._

But the fact of the matter was, neither kiss had felt right. Remus wasn't one to put too much stock in imagination's parallels to reality, but he'd imagined a kiss from Sirius to be...different. This had been _wrong_ – too _driven_, too _forced_ – and it made him wonder whether Sirius had simply been making fun of him.

_I don't see how he could have been joking, though_, he said to himself, _seeing as he doesn't know I like him in the first place. Lily wouldn't have told him, and she's the only one who could've guessed._

Taking a deep breath, he submerged himself past his eyeballs. _Something's wrong with Sirius – he should know better. He knows I hate being the center of attention, and he completely disregarded that today. Twice._

_I've no wish to be publicly assaulted on a Potion's room floor. He knows that. Or he should._

_Shouldn't he?_

It wasn't as though Remus had ever explicitly _told_ Sirius "Please don't attempt to have sexual intercourse with me in a Potion's dungeon," but he had rather thought it was an implied rule. Sirius, however, never played by any rules – implied or otherwise.

_What am I going to do? _

He couldn't let this continue until tomorrow. He could, of course, hope that the sharp slap across the face had gotten through Sirius' thick skull. He doubted it, however, and his panic increased at the thought of a repeat of today's antics.

_I can't believe everyone else believed it, either._

Sirius' announcement of their 'undying love' had gone over well – a little _too_ well. There had been no questions from the student populace, only a few catcalls as he passed down the hallways. What disturbed him most, however, was the lack of questions from the other two Marauders. Both Peter and James had merely accepted it without a confirmation from Remus – just Sirius' outlandish antics.

_They must have been part of it, then._

If they weren't questioning it, they must have known beforehand. They must have found out, somehow, that he was attracted to Sirius. And then they'd shared it with Sirius – that was the part that got him.

_Maybe it was Sirius who found out? And then shared it with James and Peter?_

Either way, the scruples of the other Marauders were worse than he'd thought. Why had they taken such action against him – making Sirius go after Remus, embarrassing him in such a way? They just wouldn't do that.

_Unless they hate me for it._

He'd seen them exploit students for less. Yes, they'd accepted him as a werewolf – but really, it seemed almost as though that was more of a source of adventure for them than anything serious. They'd become Animagus to help him out, yes, but he was sure that the thrill of breaking such high rules hadn't been much in the way of a deterrent, either. The sense of adventure had just served to egg them on, and there was no thrill in having a poofter in their midst.

_Great. Just great._

The heat was getting to him, surely. He felt a tear slide, unbidden, from his left eye. Before he had time to ridicule himself for being such a _girl,_ he heard the door bang open.

"Remus! Remus, are you here?"

He angrily wiped the tear away, shouting, "Go _away_, Sirius!"

Footfalls, stepping quickly to the door. He thanked the stars that he'd remember to push the lock over as Sirius rattled the door. "Remus! Remus, my love, let me in! Talk to me!"

There. That was it, right there. He'd heard Sirius say, 'my love' to half a hundred girls before, but the words had never been that hollow, that empty. That wasn't Sirius' emotions talking.

_He really is just trying to hurt me. _

He punched the nearby wall in anger, part of the scarlet paint chipping off. "I'm not speaking to you, Sirius Black, so you might as well just _bugger off_, d'you hear me? Get _out!_" Groaning slightly, he slid out of the tub and reached for his robes, knowing full well that Sirius was still on the other side. Taking the wand out of his pocket, he cast a quick charm before his 'friend' thought to _Alohomora_ the lock.

Sure enough, as soon as he said the spell, Sirius' _Alohomora_ echoed it. He heard Sirius swear, then footsteps on the wooden floor. Relaxing a little bit, Remus thought Sirius might be actually leaving.

Wisdom was not his strong suit today. The door was blasted off its hinges in no time at all, leaving wooden splinters all over the tiling.

It also left a very naked Remus standing in front of a very determined Sirius. Sirius seemed completely oblivious of this – which seemed odd to Remus on so many levels, he didn't bother counting.

Blushing madly, he grabbed a towel and quickly wrapped it around his waist as Sirius advanced towards him. "Remus, please, can we just talk?"

"No!" Remus felt a certain amount of rage welling in him – how dare Sirius just invade his privacy like this? It wasn't right, it wasn't fair – and he just wanted some peace and quiet.

The only way to achieve _that_ particular goal was to get rid of Sirius.

"Remus, darling, don't be so..." Sirius stopped his sentence as he saw Remus advancing on him with a wand. "Remus, be reasonable, I –"

"IMPEDIMENTA!"

Remus watched almost impassively as his friend hit the ground with a dull 'thud'. Not in the mood to rennervate him and check for damage, Remus quickly dressed and strode out of the bathroom. Grabbing a quill, he quickly wrote a letter on a spare piece of parchment.

"_I'll be sleeping with Lily tonight. Remus." _

He threw it on Sirius' unconscious body, assuming James and Peter would find him later.

Additionally not caring how the letter sounded, he grabbed James' broom – if this was his fault, he deserved it, and if it wasn't, Remus would apologize – he flew down the stairs to the Common Room, abruptly turning his pathway to lead him up the girls' staircase. He'd noticed that it would only half-heartedly try to repel him, as opposed to other boys, and had used this as a way in to visit Lily on countless occasions. It threw picture frames at James when he'd tried it – same for Sirius and Peter – so it remained only Remus' method of entrance.

His thoughts were vicious as he kicked open the door of the Sixth Year Girls' dorm from atop the broom. _Is that because I'm a bloody poofter, too?_

Lily, of all unlucky things, wasn't even there. An irrational part of his mind maintained that she _should_ be here; she _needed_ to be here, because he willed it to be so. He felt his body heat up again, and the tears welled in his eyes as he collapsed onto her bed.

He lay there until sleep overtook him, broom clattering next to Lily's nightstand as a storm brewed outside.

* * *

May I register my shock that I'm on more Author Alert lists than I have reviews for?

Scary stuff, people.


	4. Chapter 4

Apologies for lack of length. And lack of promptness. Both are due to the fact that my EFFING LAPTOP IS DEAD, which had the next three chapters on it. So, I was forced to rewrite it, because I've been informed that the poor little thing won't be working again for quite some time.

In short, I'm angry at life. Grr. Fear me and my non-owning abilities in regard to all of Harry Potter fandom.

* * *

Wow. Lookit that, we're still on day three, people! How'd that happen?

* * *

Lily Evans looked up from her Arithmancy book just in time to see one Alice Dunsworth come tiptoeing down the stairs from their dormitory. She flipped irritably to a reference sheet as she proclaimed, "Alice, I thought I told you to go to sleep – just because I have to finish all this doesn't mean you can't get a decent night's rest."

Alice yawned, then giggled a little, shaking her head. "Believe me, Lily, I'm in no way objecting to the idea of a decent night's sleep. But you seem to have a visitor – and he's sleeping in your bed. The other girls are going to gossip if they find him there again."

_Again?_ Well, that could only mean Remus – the last time he'd made his way up to her dormitory on Prefect business, the other three girls that shared their dorm had discovered him first. It had caused not only dorm-wide panic, but a pack of rumors that Lily still had to occasionally dispel. "Did you say he was sleeping?"

She nodded, taking a seat next to her friend. Alice had always been the prettiest of Lily's friends – her blonde hair and perfect figure was the consistent envy of every Hogwarts girl. She'd been Lily's friend ever since she'd found the blonde crying in a bathroom in first year, having a frightful case of homesickness. She had grown out of that stage of her life quickly, and was now the most self-assured girl Lily knew, excluding herself. "Yeah – he's completely knocked out, Lils. Looks like he's had it pretty rough today. Not that I blame him – I'm sure I'd look much worse if I'd been through the same." She raised a thoughtful finger to her chin in a playful manner. "But then again, it is _Sirius Black_ – so I suppose I could have tolerated it."

Lily rolled her eyes, deciding to not engage in a fight over her friend's approval of the Marauders. "You know, for the first of us to be engaged, you're pretty fickle."

She was, of course, speaking of Frank Longbottom – Alice's fiancé. The two had engaged in a whirlwind romance that had begun just six months before – and after five months, Frank had gone to Hogsmeade and picked out the largest engagement ring he could afford. Alice hadn't hesitated so much as a second to say yes – and Lily had no doubts whatsoever that they'd make it as a couple. Lily had never seen two people more fit for each other.

Alice flashed a smile back to her. "I may be fickle, but if you leave that poor boy up there any longer, you're going to be the permanent slut of Gryffindor House, m'dear."

Lily closed her book with a sigh. "Yeah, I suppose. If Celia or the others come in, will you distract them for a minute?"

Alice wrinkled her nose in a tired expression. "Do I need to be awake for this?"

"Yes." Neither girl was very fond of their dorm-mates – they might be Gryffindors, but that didn't assure a melding of personality traits by any stretch of the means. The other girls were rude, loud, and much too 'boy-crazy' for either Lily or Alice's tastes.

Alice shook her head. "Then I'm not gonna be much help, Lils. I'm liable to fall asleep right on the couch here." She yawned, stretched, and grabbed a nearby pillow. "In fact, I think I will."

Lily rolled her eyes and slipped off the couch. "Some friend you are."

"As long as I have my beauty rest, I don't really care what sort of friend you think I am," she replied, conjuring a paisley decorated blanket with her wand. "Have fun!"

* * *

Lily knelt by the side of her bed, almost afraid to wake the sleeping boy. He looked strange in what was such an obviously girl-oriented dormroom, the makeup bottles, hair products, and occasional Muggle-made romantic-comedy movie posters creating a strange frame around him.

_He's really kind of cute_, she thought, smiling as an errant lock of hair fell over his eyes. She whispered gently s she knelt next to the bed. "Remus? Remus, wake up."

He rolled over, obviously not yet awake. "Nrmph."

She rolled her eyes, then whispered in a fiercer tone. "Remus!"

His eyes opened with a snap, though the rest of his body didn't move. He looked worried, then relaxed. "Oh. Hi Lils. I was looking for you."

She smiled kindly. "I was hoping it was that, rather than some sort of weird stalker-tendencies emerging." Her joke failed to get more than a confused smile out of him. Beginning to worry, she furrowed her brow. "Are you alright?"

He closed his eyes again, and she could clearly see that the day's events had taken a toll on him. "Not really."

"I'm sorry, Remus, I really am."

"I know, Lils. Thanks for helping. Is there anything you needed to tell me?"

She thought immediately of the conversation she'd heard outside the Potions room. Wrinkling her nose a bit, she said, "I think you were right about James and Peter starting this. I heard them talking earlier today. After you ran out of Potions."

He didn't seem to want to know what they'd said. Instead, he sat up, pushing locks of hair out of his eyes. "Lily, what was I thinking?"

"When?" she asked, the question almost automatic.

He ran a hair raggedly through his hair – a gesture so like James that she would have commented, under other circumstances. His face was a study of pain, but he looked as though he was in another world. "When I woke up this morning? When I became friends with them? When I enrolled in this school?" He sank back down to the bed, burying his face in the pillow. "When I let myself live?"

_Oh dear_, thought Lily. _That's not a good sign._ "Remus, what are you talking about?"

His face stayed buried in the pillow, muffling his voice. "Nevermind."

Lily wasn't sure whether to be concerned or exasperated. Boys were more work than they were worth, sometimes. "No, Remus. Tell me. Please?"

Slowly, he sat up again, folding his legs under him and cuddling her pillow in an almost childlike manner. "When a child is brought into the Ministry after a werewolf bite, they're forced to register. You know that." She nodded, allowing him to continue. "That's the basic outline brought to the public."

He wouldn't quite meet her eyes, looking for all the world as though she wasn't even there; like he was telling the story to himself, or to ghosts. "The truth is, the officials spend hours swarming around you and your parents, telling you horror stories. How the person before you went on a killing spree, and murdered their own parents. How the person before that had gone insane, and ran himself off a cliff and died on the rocks below it." He gritted his teeth – whether in anger or some other emotion, she couldn't tell. "How no one wants to be near a werewolf, not even their own family."

"Remus –"

He kept talking over her. "And you believe it, too, because it's the same sort of story that your parents have been telling you for years. 'Don't go out at night, or the werewolves will get you.'" He looked her in the eye. "I'm sure that even Muggles have stories along those lines. Either way, it finally hits you – _you're the monster_, you're the one that's going to _kill people_. The one that heroes are obligated to come after, brandishing swords and silver bullets." He bit his lip, twisting his finger around the edge of the pillow. "They take your parents away, after a while. They go into a room, where they need to fill out paperwork for your continued survival, I guess." His voice had a satirical ring at this last comment.

"But they lead _you_ into an entirely different room. They tell you to sit on a bench and wait, then they leave." He shuddered. "It's an awful room, to a six year old. It's cold, with a high ceiling – everything's made out of metal. But the first thing you notice is what's on the shelves. Swords, knives, arrows – there's even a gun. And these glass cabinets, with every door marked 'Poison'." He looked her straight in the eye. "They want you to simply do away with yourself. Take care of the trouble for them, if you can."

Lily was honestly horrified. "Remus, that can't be true. They wouldn't allow it."

His eyes hardened, then moved back down to the pillow. "It is. I've spoken with several other werewolves – on a purely anonymous basis – and they've all told me the same thing. I know several who said that their victims took the implied message – the poison is by far the most popular." His words were bitter, full of hatred and sadness as he closed his eyes again.

Minutes passed without either of them saying anything. Remus was clearly reliving old memories, and Lily was digesting all of the information. Eventually, the clicking of the clock in the corner got to Lily, and she shifted, then spoke.

"Remus?"

He looked up, eyes shining a little. "Yeah?"

"How does that even _compare_ to what happened today?" The words came out more harshly than she had intended, but the intention remained.

He closed his eyes softly, hugging the pillow tighter as he let out a dark chuckle. "You know what, Lils?"

"Yeah?"

"It just does."

An amiable silence stretched between them, until Lily finally moved. "Can I assume you're not going back to your dorm tonight?" she asked, getting up and pulling a hair tie from her drawer.

He rolled over onto his back, folding his arms behind his head. Lily was glad that he could be so comfortable around her – but that didn't stop her from belatedly wishing he'd taken his shoes off. "Not if I can help it. Sirius jumped me again, and I'm not about to sleep in the same room as him."

Lily chuckled, slipping on her cloak and trying to ignore his muddy shoes on her perfectly clean sheets. "Alright. You can have my bed, and I'll take over Alice's – she crashed on the couch downstairs – and we'll just lock the other girls out for the night. Deal?"

He smiled sleepily, his eyes closing as he stretched on the bed. "Lily Evans, you are my hero."

"Heroine," she automatically corrected. "I've still got to go out for hallway patrol, but I'll be back in an hour or so, alright?"

All she got in response was an incoherent "Mmmph." Within no time at all, Remus was fast asleep, his breathing perfectly rhythmical. Lily moved quickly out the door, locking it securely behind her with whatever charms came to mind.

"Sweet dreams, Remus."

Alice was still sound asleep downstairs, perfectly safe from any pranks by the younger years because she took so much time to help each and every one of them in tutoring sessions. Their dorm-mates were nowhere to be seen – though Lily'd had a shrewd suspicion they'd be spending the night in their boyfriends' dorms anyway. She threw a scarf around her neck – the castle was always so cold at night, and she hated this part of her obligatory Head-In-Training jobs more than anything. "Here's to an eventful night," she muttered sarcastically.

* * *

James and Peter, upon finding their bespelled friend, quickly did their best to tend to his wounds, both mental and physical, making sure that no damage had been done and he wasn't in serious trouble, acting as tried and true friends would in any situation such as this – in a caring, courteous manner.

That is to say, they spent the first fifteen minutes laughing their proverbial asses off.

Sirius, now completely despelled, was doing a lovely job playing the melancholy hero. He had parked himself at the foot of his bed, knees drawn up, and was pulling apart a daisy that he'd conjured from the greenhouse. They'd barely managed to convince him to think his actions over before he went after Remus – and this was apparently his chosen method of contemplation.

"He hates me." Off came a petal. "He loves me." Another. "He hates me. He loves me. He hates me." He blinked as the last petal fell to the floor. "He hates me? James, he _hates_ me! How can he hate me?"

Peter rolled his eyes, throwing a ball at the ceiling in a repetitive motion that was always relaxing. "I'm not going to touch that one. James?"

James glared over the top of the essay he was completing, beginning to become genuinely annoyed by Sirius' antics. "Sirius, everyone bloody hates you right now. How has that not sunk in?"

The look he got in return was one of pure misery, and James felt a twang in of commiseration. "Do you think he really hates me? Maybe I should go after him – launch a full scale attack on the girls' dorm, you know." Sirius' eyes lit up, and he snapped his fingers as the details of what could only be a doomed plan fell into place. "Yeah! We'll have him back in no time! And then my beloved will recognize the love we share, and we shall live happily ever after in a cottage in the hills! It's perfect!"

James snagged the back of Sirius' collar as the black-haired boy darted towards the door. "Slow down there, Pads. While I am normally all for a raid on Lily's dormitory, I'm going to have to tell you that this is _not going to help the situation_."

Sirius slumped back to the floor, squishing what was left of the daisy. "Then what am I supposed to do, James? I can't let him be angry at me."

Peter caught the ball one last time before sighing halfheartedly and sitting up. "You might have to."

Sirius looked at him. "Might have to what?"

"Might have to let him be mad at you." He moved to his bookbag and started rummaging for the same essay James had already started on. "Maybe that's the only way that he'll figure all this out. It's not like he's going to hate you – I don't think he can, when it comes right down to it. But you probably scared him pretty badly today, Pads, and I don't quite think he could handle it. Give him some space, you know?"

Sirius' eyes lit up again, and he shot to his feet. "Yes! That's it! I'll win his love through invisibility! I'll run away for three weeks time, my friends, and his love will grow so strong in my absence that he'll be forced to fall into my arms upon my return!"

James rubbed the bridge of his nose in frustration. "I don't think that's what he meant, Sirius."

To James' and Peter's horror, he began throwing things in his trunk at an appalling speed. He was almost like a whirlwind, throwing things with one hand and magicking them with the other. "It's perfect! Thank you, Peter, you were always a good friend! I shall live in the hills until my true love has recognized his own feelings!" He was halfway to the window with his broomstick before James finally moved.

Grabbing Sirius' shoulder, he coaxed him of the windowsill. "Pads? Why don't we think this over first?"

He looked aghast at the very suggestion. "But James! The sooner I start out, the sooner my Remus will –"

James cut him off, making his words very clear and concise so as to not confuse the already riled Sirius. "You. Me. Kitchens. Now."

Sirius nodded slowly. "I suppose I'll need some food for my quest, now that you mention it."

James rolled his eyes, then spoke to Peter as they went out the door. "Can you stay here, in case Remus comes back? I've got to take care of this idiot."

Peter looked less than enthused about being the one left behind yet again, but nodded his head anyway. "Yeah, I can do that. Take the cloak, though, will you? Sirius is going to need as much time out of detention as he can get, if we're going to pull this off."

James groped seemingly thin air next to the doorframe, finally grasping the thin material and revealing a coat-rack underneath. "Good thinking, Peter. Thanks!" Both he and Sirius disappeared from sight, but Peter heard the footfalls continue down the stairs.

* * *

Upon reaching the kitchens, Sirius immediately asked the confused houselves for food that "a hypothetical Muggle might take on a hypothetical long-term camping trip." James believed that he had exhibited tremendous self-control in not cursing his friend right then and there.

That didn't stop him from placing an order for a treacle tart.

"Sirius," he said, speaking carefully around the tart, "I don't think that you're taking this very well."

Sirius inspected a bag of mixed nuts with a shrewd eye. "How do you mean?"

James reflected that talking to Sirius was, more often than not, exactly like smashing you head into a brick wall. "Pads, you're thinking of running away to the mountains. Doesn't that seem a bit...rash to you?"

Sirius waved his hand dismissively. "You simply do not understand my love."

James rolled his eyes. "Fine. Then tell me about your love," he said sarcastically, spreading his arms wide in a sweeping gesture. He knew he'd regret it –but he was also conscious of the many times Sirius had listened to him wax on about Lily.

"My love," began Sirius, a misty look coming over his eyes, "is eternal. It cannot be broken, cannot be pried from the one I love. It will last forever, and will continue to occupy my mind until the day I die – and past that, because my love knows no bounds."

James blinked, wondering if this was what he sounded like when he spoke about Lily. He couldn't really blame his friends for getting sick of it, if it was. "So we've established that your love has the consistency of a piece of chewing gum. Please go on."

Sirius glared at him before stuffing another container of trail mix into a large bag. "My love, up until this point, has been caged. Enslaved, if you will, by the morals of society."

James made a half-jump up onto the counter. "The morals that you try to ignore each and every day?"

Sirius nodded. "Yes. But these morals, you see, were so ingrained into me that I couldn't see that there was another way. Like a houself," he added, earning himself the gaze of several dozen small eyes, "who cannot see his own enslavement, so was my love locked in a cage of unmerciless torment."

"...Like a houself?" James was getting the idea that he was speaking to a four year old. A four year old with an extensive vocabulary.

Sirius nodded enthusiastically, apparently happy that his friend finally understood. "Yes! Like these houselves that surround us! And now that my love is free and uninhibited, it will soar like a hippogriff!"

James did his best to not laugh. "I'm glad to know Care of Magical Creatures has done you so much good, Sirius."

"James?"

Sirius had that look in his eyes – the one that scared James more than anything in the world. The one that signified the beginning of a disastrous plan that would land the rest of them in detention for the rest of the semester, scrubbing cauldrons for Slughorn. The one that said that Sirius simply would not be deterred.

"Yes?"

Sirius was gazing around at the houselves. "I think...No! I am sure of it! Our newest quest shall be to liberate the houselves! For them to not have experienced life outside of this castle, enslaved by their own ignorance is a crime! A crime of the highest degree, James!"

"No."

Sirius rounded on him, taking hold of his shoulders. "How can you deny the weak their freedom? Where is your sense of justice, of adventure?"

James winced a little as Sirius hands bit into his forearms. "Weren't you going on a trip? To the mountains? How are you going to liberate them from there?"

Sirius took his hands off of James, to his pleasure, and adopted an overdramatic thinking pose in the middle of the room. "How, indeed? You have posed me a difficult question for me, my friend."

James breathed, foreseeing smooth sailing from this point on. "You can't do both, you know. So it's a question of what's more important to you – Remus' love, or the plight of houselves who don't even want to be freed."

"This is true."

James nodded, making sure his next words were calm and soothing. "So why don't we head back to the dorms, Pads, and we'll think it over for a few days. Alright?"

Suddenly, Sirius snapped his fingers. "No need! I have the solution!"

"Oh, for –"

"You will liberate them in my stead! As my best friend and closest confidante, I am confident in your abilities to take my place! I shall continue on in my journey to the hills, whilst you repair the evils that exist within our own society!" He slung his pack over his shoulder and walked confidently to the door.

"Sirius!"

"No! You cannot change my mind! I will stay my course!"

James vaguely wondered how this had gotten so out of hand. He knew it had to be the potion making Sirius act this way – but he hadn't foreseen that Sirius would become quite this irrational from it. As it was, he'd learned the hard way in third year that when making a potion that he planned to use on friends or foes, having enough antidote to reverse every case of it was absolutely essential.

Remus had related it to the Titanic – if you didn't have enough of something to serve those you'd harmed (say, lifeboats), it became a strict standard of procedure the next time around. Their 'Titanic' had occurred in third year when, after attempting to put a potion to turn every Slytherin into a canary, the potion had ended up in the Gryffindor goblets. Caught without an antidote, they'd spent the next three days chirping and finding yellow feathers in the oddest and most uncomfortable places.

James sighed, reaching for said antidote in his back pocket. _Fine, Peter, you win_.

"Sirius, I solemnly swear this is for your own good." With that, he tackled his friend to the ground, forced his mouth open, and poured the bottle in. It was a relatively simple process – though each Marauder had perfected the art of tackling Sirius at one point or another. It was a simple must when he became irrational, as nothing else seemed to deter his ambition.

Sirius turned an alarming shade of purple for a full minute, causing James to panic slightly. "Hey, are you alright?"

He blinked rapidly a few times before responding. "I...yeah. What hit me?"

James got off of his friend, allowing Sirius to stand up and hoping for the best. "Let's see. Do you have any compulsions to free houselves, or run away into the mountains?"

"No to the first, but I've been wanting to do the second since we were little. Why?"

James breathed a sigh of relief. "Good. I think you're cured."

"Cured of what?" Sirius was beginning to look confused.

James shook his head. "Nevermind. Let's just head back up to the dorms, shall we?"

"James?" Sirius had stopped dead in the middle of the room, eyes wide.

"Yeah?"

Sirius turned his gaze on James, in a perfectly rational state that was completely alien to his nature. "Is Remus gone, or did I dream that?"

_Oh, shit. I didn't want to answer this yet. _"No, you didn't dream that."

"And it was my fault, wasn't it?"

James squirmed visibly. "Not entirely."

Sirius was looking rather panicked. "What do you mean, not entirely?"

* * *

Yep. We've finally passed the point where my alerts equal my reviews.

Shall we increase that ratio?

Please?


	5. Chapter 5

Oh, dear Lord, don't strike me down. Please?

I'm so horrible. I've been near catatonic for the last four days, but that's still no excuse, so I fully apologize. This probably would have been up yesterday, but I came home from school at like, 10:00 AM and didn't wake up until 2:00 AM the next morning, at which point I panicked and did a ton of homework and stayed home anyway and...

Well, not like you really care.

I'm still loving up on Lucius. He's the most deliciously vile character I've ever written, and I think I love him. In another note, might I say that people run away from you (literally run) when you say the words 'deliciously incestuous'?

It's so true.

Listening to RENT makes your writing angry. Thinking you own the HP universe makes lawyers angry. Therefore, I've stopped doing both.

* * *

IF YOU HAVE NOT READ CHAPTER FOUR, PLEASE DO SO. Fanfiction apparently decided to not send out notices last time.

* * *

Lily Evans had had quite enough of first year students intent on sneaking out of their dorms at ten o'clock at night. Such behavior had spiked since the Marauders had begun their quest to become the self-proclaimed illegal entertainment of Hogwarts – and she laid the blame fully and absolutely on one James Harold Potter.

It wasn't even that the younger years were breaking rules that bothered her – it was the fact that they did it simply because they aspired to be like Potter. A series of horribly executed pranks – not planned by the Marauders, but certainly not discouraged by their little group, either – always came about towards the end of the year. Emotions ran high as students studied themselves to the exhaustion point, and as a result, the rules were often shattered to the extreme.

Lily was certain she'd never done such things when she was younger. That was why she was where she was today – because of abhorring anything and everything that stood for James Potter.

She was sure of it.

Stopping her muse to check behind the tapestry of a well-know secret passageway (the oxymoron had always intrigued her – at what point did a secret passageway depart from 'secret' and merely become a passage?), her spine gave a little shiver.

Then she heard his voice – that voice that she did so loathe.

She looked to the entrance of the Great Hall, hearing the voice come nearer to her from that direction.

_No_, she corrected herself. _Black is with him._

They were whispering harshly, but she could still make out the words. Potter sounded panicked, apologetic, and she could imagine him running one of his hands through his hair in a distracted manner. She only just stopped herself from smiling at the image, instead hiding deeper in the nearby alcove.

"Pads, you have to believe me. Peter was _sure _of it. Hell, **_I _**was sure of it. We were just trying to help."

She still couldn't see them – but by their voices, they couldn't be more than twenty feet away from her.

_What is going on here?_

Her memory landed on a rumour she had heard some time ago from a fourth year. The boy had been hysterical about Potter disappearing right in front of his eyes. He'd been completely incoherent for almost half an hour, until Remus had calmed him down with a story that sounded like complete bull to the rest of the room – something about a mystical cloak that Potter had bought from a less-than-legal pawn shop in Knockturn Alley.

_And how many times has Remus told me_, Lily thought, _that the best way to hide a secret is with the truth?_

Zoning back to the conversation, Lily had never heard Black's voice as terse as she did now. "I don't think you understand. Whether or not it's true is _none_ _of your business_, Prongs. It's up to me to decide – or Moony, if it comes down to that."

"So I'm just supposed to stand by and watch while two of my best friends pine for one another?" She heard some rather frantic shuffling, as Potter hissed, "Slow down, will you?"

"_No,_" said Black, and she wasn't sure what he was responding to. "But I expect you to show some _consideration_ to those of us who don't want our friends to hate us, you _prick._"

"I'm doing you a favor!"

"_I don't even like him!_"

_What?_ Lily was stunned – apparently Potter was as well, as she didn't hear him speak for quite some time. When she did, his voice was shaky.

"Sirius, you have to like him. That's what the spell's all about, don't you get it? It makes you go after the person that's going to become your end-all, be-all. There's really no way around that."

Lily heard Black's voice become immediately defensive. "Then you _made _it wrong, Prongs. Because it's not..._it's not true._ Alright?"

There was a violent swish of cloth and suddenly – suddenly she could _see him_. Not Black, just Potter. He wasn't immediately aware of his now-visible state – but the fact that he couldn't see Black tipped him off fairly quickly.

Before he could make a move to run after the invisible figure, she quickly stepped out of the dark, marveling at the fact that he hadn't seen her before. "Potter," she snarled, "What are you _doing?_"

He spent but a few seconds looking off in the direction that his friend had escaped in before recovering himself. "Evans, darling," he drawled. "What can I do for you on this fine evening?"

"You can die a fiery death, for starters," she hissed. "I don't care if you do think you're the king of the world, Potter, you're not supposed to be out and about right now."

"I could say the same for you."

She tossed her hair angrily, watching his eyes follow it. "No, you could not. You are simply creating a disastrous route for others to follow, while I'm trying to fulfill my prerequisites for Head Girl duties next year."

He smiled wickedly, exuding a sort of confidence that she had come to fear over her many years in this institution. "Oh? And do you know who will be playing _opposite_ that role next year, Evans?"

A horrible comprehension formed, and she suddenly had a taste for what it must feel like when one's life flashes before one's eyes. "No," she muttered frantically. "Dumbledore wouldn't do that to me."

He was still smiling, and she hated him for it. "I think that even Dumbledore can recognize true love when he sees it. Let it be known that I, as well, will be fulfilling my Head duties by your side, each and every night, until the end of this glorious year."

"I _hate_ you."

* * *

"I _hate_ you."

James felt a bit of a chill coming off of the redhead, but recovered nonetheless. It wasn't the worst he'd experienced in the face of the storm that was Hurricane Lily. "I know."

He walked towards her, and casually hooked her arm around his, leading her down the corridor. He felt her entire body tense as she walked stiffly beside him – but she hadn't cursed him yet, hadn't hit him, and hadn't moved away.

He began, with what was astounding historical evidence as support, to worry.

"Evans? Are you alright?"

She was chewing her lip – an endearing motion that made her look all the more human. "You were talking about Remus just now, weren't you?"

_She can't know!_ "Whatever gave you that idea?"

She laughed at him – her patented 'Potter is a blind, unwavering idiot' laugh. "You're kidding, right?" When he shook his head, unwilling to give anything away she hadn't guessed, she sighed. "Look, I had a long talk with Remus yesterday. I know a lot of things about him that he doesn't want anyone else to know, and I just..." She sighed again, restarting her sentence. "Whatever you did, undo it."

He ran his spare hand through his hair, stopping halfway because of her outright grimace. "What _exactly_ do you know about Remus?"

She glared at him. "Enough to understand that it doesn't take much to hurt him – so whatever you're doing has to stop."

_She doesn't know anything_, he thought in relief. _She's just bluffing. _

_No, not bluffing. She just doesn't know the whole story, or she'd have said something._

He regained his mental footing, smirking gently. "Tell you what, Evans. It's my turn to ask a question."

"What?" Her voice was poison-laced ice – a tone he was well familiar with.

"What would you do, to protect Remus?"

"What do you mean?"

He kept his voice in a pondering tone, aware that he was treading on the thinnest of ice. "Would you – I don't know – go on a date with me, no questions asked? Just to protect dear Remy-poo?"

She looked at him in horror, and he felt a quick twang of guilt for using Remus like this, but wasn't about to lose the opportunity. "_You're_ his friend! Shouldn't you be the one protecting him?"

"Answer the question, Miss Evans," he said, mockingly.

"I'm not going to answer that."

"Why?"

"Because you'd take it the wrong way."

He smirked. "Oh, so that's a 'yes'?"

She glared at him, and he wondered why she'd yet to acquire wrinkles on her lovely forehead. "Yes, but I'd as soon go on a date with the giant squid, and you don't see that happening in the near future, now do you?"

James shook his fist menacingly in the direction of the lake. "Not after I get done with that bastard."

He heard an odd sound from her, and wondered if she was choking. Belatedly, he realized he'd made her laugh.

* * *

Sirius Black strode through the halls, not particularly caring that he'd left James back in the hallway. It only caused him a flash of malicious joy when he heard Lily's voice reverberating through the corridor, and he kept moving, lost in his own thought process.

_He was just trying to help._

Sirius had had quite enough of the voice in his head, especially now that it was intent on defending James. It'd been telling him to engage in horrible activities all day, and he was all too close to losing Remus because of it.

_So you do care about him._

Of course Sirius cared about Remus – they'd been friends for so long, shared so many secrets. They'd made it through what was lightly termed 'the incident' involving Snape and the Whomping Willow and large amounts of stupidity on Sirius' part, so they'd make it through this, no problem. That didn't mean that Sirius wanted all the trouble that went with it, though.

_But what if it's worth it? What if he is your true love?_

Sirius was quite sure that it didn't matter whether Remus was going to end up as his true love or not. The fact was that he wasn't in love with him now – he wasn't even in lust with him now, and he assumed one of the two had to be involved to merit the sort of actions he'd engaged in lately.

_You're impossible. And blind._

Sirius tried to glare at the voice, and found that glaring at one's own head without aid of a mirror to be quite impossible. Instead, he voiced his overwhelmingly vehement hatred for those that simply wouldn't mind their own business.

_You may want to stop that. Someone's sure to hear you._

Sirius was quite sure he didn't bloody care, and continued his descriptively painful soliloquy.

_Too late._

Sirius felt himself hit something rather solid, and fell to the ground arse-first. He looked up just in time to see one Lucius Malfoy groping towards his face, and felt the cloak slide off of him. He felt rather exposed, and more than a little mortified to be in such a position on the ground.

Jumping up quickly, he cursed the false security being invisible always lent him. Lucius was looking at him with a gleeful sort of surprise, and that scared Sirius more than any malicious look could have. The group of burly Slytherin cronies that flanked him wasn't doing much to dispel his fears.

"Black. What a surprise! We haven't been looking for you for more than what, five minutes?" His entourage made assenting noises, and he laughed – a laugh that had always reminded Sirius of bells made of ice. "How much more lucky could I have been?"

Sweating now, Sirius tried to look nonchalant. "I don't believe you could have, Malfoy. What can I do for you, or should I assume we're here to merely exchange sugary pleasantries?"

Lucius examined a nail. "Well, I suppose it wasn't really you I was looking for, specifically, but you'll do."

"Then who?"

The pureblooded smirk returned to Lucius' eyes. "Ah, but that would be telling. But let me see if you can guess."

"Lucius, I'm hardly in the mood to –"

Lucius cut him off with a wave, speaking over him. "He's about yea high," he began, sparks flowing out of his wand tip as he lightly traced a humanoid figure in midair, "with brown hair, and delectable amber eyes. A penchant for books, yes, and curious little scars that he thinks no one sees. Can you guess who it might possibly be?"

Sirius granted that Lucius was an exceptionally talented sketch-artist – though he shouldn't be surprised, really, as art was a coveted talent within any pureblood family. He stared, stone-like, at Lucius, refusing an answer.

"No? Surely you can make a guess of some accuracy." Lucius let out a little sigh, embellishing what was undoubtedly a left eye belonging to Remus. "Let's see – what else can I tell you? Top of his class – I can't imagine why such an intelligent person wouldn't make head boy, can you? Rather sickly, though, I've noticed, so perhaps that's why. Or perhaps it's something else?"

Sirius was getting rather frustrated with this exchange. "I couldn't begin to guess, Malfoy," he said through gritted teeth.

Lucius looked mildly shocked. "Really? You don't pay enough attention to him, then, for all that he's your newfound love interest. Or is that merely another one of your jokes that I am powerless to understand?"

Sirius wasn't about to answer that question – he'd just gotten out of that fight with James. "What do you want with him, Malfoy?"

Lucius continued on as if his inquiry didn't quite matter. "It's a shame that you don't pay closer attention, Black, it really is. Your little boytoy is far too valuable to waste on something as unworthy as yourself, and if you're not going to use him to his full potential," Lucius sighed, finishing one last cuff on Remus' sketched shirt, "then I will."

"Excuse me?" Sirius could feel the incredulity seeping through his voice. He was gaining ground again, though, and he felt it. "Did you just admit your undying lust for – for Remus? Because I'm sure the folks back at Malfoy Manor would be just ecstatic to hear about that one."

"Sirius, would you for once in your life be...oh, my, that is a _nasty_ pitfall of a name you're in possession of, isn't it? I'd never noticed." He let out a little chuckle before continuing. "Be..._reasonable_, then. I'm not about to go about seducing members of Gryffindor House; not without a very strong persuasion. Converting, now, that's a different story."

"Converting?"

"Don't tell me that you haven't noticed we've a war outside our gates, Black. Even you are not that thick." Lucius peered at the handiwork that was his life-sized Remus sketch, widening it, allowing it to attain a three dimensional sort of expansion. "I've noticed things about him, Black. Things that not many people would."

"If you're thinking of bribing him with chocolate, that's not exactly a secret obsession, Malfoy."

Lucius gave him a look of pure sarcasm. "Yes, I'm going to bribe a creature such as Lupin with a cocoa confectionary. That's not what I'm speaking of. No. I'm speaking about something that only our dear friend Snape would know." With one sweep of his wand, the glittering rendition of Remus exploded into a thousand little green pieces.

Sirius had never been so panicked in his life. "What did that bastard tell you? If he told you anything, I swear I'll kill him. Anything – anything he said was a lie!"

Lucius' eyes flashed, and he looked triumphant. "Snape told me nothing – he's under Dumbledore's thumb, for all that he rejected the Head Boy offer. Stupid of him, really. But that is not the point at hand, Mister Black.

"The point is that you have told me everything I need to know, whether you realized it or not. Good night, cousin."

As they walked away, Sirius had a horrible sense of déjà vu involving Snape, the Whomping Willow, and large amounts of stupidity on Sirius' part. He didn't think he could blame it on James this time, either.

"Shit. What have I done?"

* * *

Incredibly short. My apologies.

But, you know, I still love reviews. They help me recover from my catatonic state, I do believe.


	6. Chapter 6

Notes:

-The songs "I Want Candy" "Popular" and "Girlfriend" are really super addictive. The happiness of the first two is rather obviously reflected within the first block of text. The third one just reflects weird dreams I've been having. Which relates to me not owning the HP Universe in some roundabout way, I'm sure.

-No Luscious Lucius for this chapter. I'm very disappointed, because he really only makes one more appearance without a sequel being made.

-Apologies for the lateness. Life seems to have hit me over the head with a senioritis shaped brick.

-Apologies for the shortness. Again, blame it on the brick. And the fact that prom dresses are WAY more work than they're worth.

-If you've ever seen InuYasha, check out "Puppyproofing Your Dojo" by Resmiranda. It's amazing. (And the only thing of hers that's short. The rest of the stuff is freaking amazing, but...well. Be in for a long ride if you start in on it.)

* * *

James was positively amazed that he was the first one back to the dorm – well, not technically the first. He was there before Sirius, and that was all that counted. 

Upon rescanning the room, strewn comfortably with every sort of object that one would expect in a room inhabited solely by a group of boys, he found two surprising things.

The first was that there was a severe lack of Peter Pettigrew within the room. Even through the mess, it was easy to notice the boy's absence. He was sure he'd asked Pete to stay and watch for Remus.

The second, which may or may not have explained the first, was that Remus was climbing out the window with an overly large bundle of books and clothes, who promptly cursed when he saw James and lost some of his precious cargo to the lawn below.

"Remus?"

Remus shook his head frantically – James suspected that his arms would have been used, but he was carrying too much – looking rather comical. "No! Shh! I'm not here!"

James raised his eyebrows and shut the door behind him. Remus was acting even more oddly than usual. "Right. And since you're not here, I don't suppose you'd know where Peter went, would you?"

Remus cringed. "He might be _silencio_-ed in the bathroom."

James was sure this wasn't an appropriate time for laughter, and just barely curbed it. "Remus! That's horrible!"

Remus gave him a wholly patronizing look. "Oh, like you've never done it. Don't go all high and mighty on me now, Prongs."

"You're channeling Sirius again, you prat." The words popped out of James before he could recall them. Remus' eyes flew open wide, and the boy made it onto the broom outside the window without further incident. James called out to him, racing to the window. "Wait, no! I'm sorry! I – isn't that my broom, anyway?"

Remus winced again. "That depends," he said, evasively, hovering just out of James' reach on the windowsill.

James was sure of the sort of answer he'd receive, but he asked the question anyway. "Depends on what?"

"Whether or not you've had anything to do with what's been going on."

_Of course._ Life wasn't giving him any breaks today, it seemed. "Ah," he said intelligibly. "Sorry about that."

Remus bit his lip and stuck out his jaw, interpreting James' monosyllabic response correctly. "Right. That's what I thought. In that case, yes, James Potter, this is indeed your broom, and I would be well within my right to light it on fire and throw it in the lake, I do believe." He looked longingly at the dropped articles on the ground below, seemingly planning an escape route.

Trying to quell his panic with the fact that Remus simply _would not do that_, James reached a hand out the window. "OK. I'm sorry. Come in for a little, and I'll explain everything, I promise."

"No." Remus had actually _huffed_ at him – in any other situation he would have commented on the extreme _girliness _of that action, but now was not the time.

"Moony, stop being such a stubborn prat, will you?" He reached as far as his upper limbs would allow, and pulled just a bit too hard on the back of the broom.

As a consequence, the werewolf made a distinctly girlish noise as the broom veered wildly – James had to stop himself from laughing. Remus was forced to grab for the windowsill as he fell, swinging precariously. James had a quick battle of conscience between helping Remus up or grabbing the broom from midair before it flew off. Remus saved him the trouble, climbing inside the dorm of his own strength and clearing out so James could reach for the precious Comet 260. Leaning the broom against the windowsill, James took two short steps to Remus and embraced him in what he assured himself was a very manly hug.

Remus didn't pull away, only muttering in a half-hearted fashion the words, "I hate you."

James smiled and backed up. "You're the second person to tell me that tonight, actually."

"You ran into Lily, then?" His werewolf friend was more amused with the idea than he should have been, but James was willing to forgive him anything at this point in time.

Instead, he smiled giddily, recalling the agreement he had eked out of her. "It was amazing, Remus! You wouldn't've believed it! She –"

Remus' eyes flashed, and a sharp jerk of his head indicated that _he_ would be the one leading this conversation. "Oh, no. You're not dragging me into another story involving the greatness that is Lily. Not until you tell me _exactly_ what you did to Sirius."

This was not the conversation James wanted to engage in, but he steeled himself for it anyway. Because, really, it _was_ his fault.

Not that he'd ever admit that. But the sentiment was there.

* * *

Remus heard James sigh and slump in an reluctant sort of fashion. "It was all Pete's fault, really. He...he was sure that you and Sirius were meant for each other. Got me convinced too, I'm ashamed to admit." 

Remus moved to sit on a bed – Sirius', ironically. Daring James to comment with a look, he nodded. "Go on."

"So he decided that all you really needed was a...push in the right direction, y'know?" James joined him on the bed, sitting Indian style. "And we found this potion – guaranteed to make Sirius go after you."

Remus tried to avoid rolling his eyes to the ceiling and failed miserably. "And you thought you'd just give it a whirl without consulting either of us?"

James looked affronted, and took on an offensive posture. "Hey, I'm not the only one at fault here! Do you have any idea how much I wanted to kill you when I found that note you left?"

Remus yelped, then tried to cover it with a manly throat-clearing. "_Excuse_ me? Just because you're completely irrational when it comes to Lily –"

"I'm not the one in love with my best friend!" The words rang out loudly – and Remus detected more than a hint of anger behind them.

His response was out of his mouth before he could stop it. "When did we confirm _that?_"

James paused and had the sense to look ashamed. He leaned back to his normal space, no longer invading Remus' bubble of personal space. "I'm sorry. That was uncalled for, I know."

There was a silence between them, as Remus took the time to control himself before he sent a fist towards his friend. Finally, he broke it, his voice shaking a little, his eyes on his knees.

"And what if I did like him, James? What then? Would you cut the both of us off?" He felt the edge in his voice, and didn't like the way it sounded, but he couldn't help it. "I can't imagine that you've thought this through enough to actually realize that this _me_ and _Sirius_. You were just looking for the next prank, weren't you?"

"What?"

Remus was on a roll now – he had the same feeling as when he'd found the completion process to a complicated Arithmancy problem. A certain joy in comprehension. "Like you always do – you don't really care about what's going on around you, you just want the adrenaline rush that goes with an adventure. That's why you pursue Lily, isn't it? Every time she rejects you, throws a curse at you, you get a little rush."

James was immediately back in his space. "Don't turn this around on me, Remus."

He couldn't stop himself now – the answers were coming fast. He felt like he finally understood what made James tick, and it was a rather bitter realization. "You don't have any prejudices – and that's great, it makes you a wonderful person – but it's not because you're accepting. It's because you don't care, isn't it? This werewolf business, it was just another great mystery to you, wasn't it? If I didn't provide you with a monthly escapade, you wouldn't have anything to do with me."

James interrupted, looking incredulous. "Moony, that's –"

Remus, however, just kept talking over him. "Don't you _dare_ say it's not true, James. Even this time around – you give Sirius a potion that makes him run around after whomever you choose, and all the more amusement if it's one of your friends, hm? A giant game of 'Fuck with the Lycanthrope's Emotions', that's what it was. I can't believe –"

Remus found himself cut off by a swift punch to the lower jaw, hitting the floor in a rather undignified fashion. The pain caused a flash of brilliant white in front of his eyes, but as he looked up, James had a furious look on his face, and the words he spoke were rigid.

"That's enough, Moony. You are being the most self-centered tosser I know right now, including Sirius. So what if you're in love with him? That's amazing, to find that, and I wish you both the best." The anger dissipated from his face as he helped Remus up from the floor, and his next words were quiet, and had a laughing quality to them. "Because it _wasn't _whoever we chose."

"What?" Remus had either lost the train of conversation when he hit the floor, or James wasn't making sense anymore.

"The potion. Sirius wasn't after whoever we chose, he was supposed to go after his one true love. Which, apparently, is _you_."

Remus felt a thousand different emotions slice through him at once – most of them were related to joy, but the few others alarmed him. "James. This – If you're lying to me right now, so help me God, I will tear out your heart and give it to Lily as a trophy."

James spoke calmly, in a placating manner. "I'm not lying, Remus. I wouldn't do that to you, this far in."

Remus was still unsure – _this couldn't be true, this wasn't happening_. It was too simple, too clean cut. He'd never been this elated in his entire life. "What are the chances that you...you made the potion incorrectly?"

James laughed at him – actually started laughing at him. "You really do channel Sirius, did you know that? That's what he asked me, right after I –" James paused, seeming to think about something. "Right. I forgot. We went to the kitchens –"

"Before or after you ran into Lily?"

"Before. And he was being a real prat, you know? The potion turned him into some sort of drama prince – more than usual. He got so annoying that I," James gulped, obviously trying to think ahead to an explanation that wouldn't land him in deeper trouble with his friend, "Gave him the antidote."

Remus correctly read the expression on his friend's face. "That's not all, is it?"

James was clamoring for a way to keep the peace – and failing miserably, as it only made Remus more nervous. "No. I...he...there's no nice way to put this, Remus, and you have to understand that I don't believe it, alright? He freaked out on me, and said..."

Remus clenched his jaw, already knowing the punch-line to the joke that his life was turning into. "Said that he hates me, did he?"

James was phrasing his words even more carefully now, and Remus could see it. "Not...not _hates_ you. That he didn't like you. Like _that_, I mean."

"I see." And he did. He was on the emotional rollercoaster of his life, and he'd obviously just hit the low point.

James was speaking in a frantic manner, trying to backtrack. "But that's not what the potion said, you know? He's got to be lying, Remus."

_Stiff upper lip, Remus._ "No, James. You're not understanding this. Maybe I am the love of his life – but that doesn't mean he loves me _now_. If he said he doesn't like me, then he doesn't like me. That's simply how Sirius _is_. There's no way around that, and I'll accept his decision."

James was once again looking at him in an disbelieving manner. "You can't mean that."

"But I do," he replied smoothly, and found the words to be true. "What do you have more faith in, James – the word of your best friend, or a potion you may or may not have botched?" He bit his lip, nodding to himself. "I, personally, will be placing my faith in Sirius, thank you."

"Remus –"

"No, really, James. I'm alright with that." He chuckled darkly. "Not that I'm going to be much of a social butterfly in the near future, but it's fine. I've got good friends, a future that's better than expected, and I shouldn't be asking for more than that."

James looked like he was going to hit him again, but didn't. "You're being an idiot."

Remus climbed off the bed and reclaimed James' broomstick. "No, I'm being reasonable. There's nothing wrong with that." He stepped onto the window ledge and straddled the broom, looking nervously at the ground below. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'd really like to stay away from this place for the night."

As he swooped towards the ground, he heard James call out again. "Idiot!"

_We'll see. _He gathered his things from the ground quickly, then swooped back up to the window. The other boy was already lying on his bed, looking pensive, but Remus called out to him anyway. "James, may I offer some advice?"

"If it's good advice."

Remus rolled his eyes, hoping this would help to reassure the boy that their friendship was still intact. "Call her by her first name," he said, perfectly confident that James would know the 'her' he referred to. "She hates her last name – it reminds her that she's related to her sister."

James shot up, staring at Remus as though he were a god. "Really?"

"Really. And James?"

"Yeah?"

"Take care of Peter, would you?"

The yelp that escaped his friend as he sprinted to the locked door on the other side of the room was priceless.

* * *

James had released Peter with utmost expediency, but the small boy still refused to speak to him. Instead, he had gone straight to sleep, not even wanting to hear the conversation that had followed. It was a small sort of anger that Peter indulged in from time to time, and the Marauders had learned to let it simply run it's course. After all, they were all mates, and were therefore allowed some amount of animosity from time to time, no questions asked. 

Sirius never returned to the dorms – this worried James more than anything else. And since Peter had refused to speak to him because of his extended stay in magically induced unconsciousness, he'd stayed up for more than half the night waiting for his other friend to return.

It really only meant one of two things – that Sirius relapsed and really _had_ run off to the mountains, intent on winning Remus' favor, or that he was planning something else.

James was willing to bet that it fell more towards the lines of 'planning something else'.

He really, truly hoped he was wrong – after all, the last thing Remus needed right now was another exhibition.

James realized that he'd begun to take personal stock in this particular romance between friends – like it was some sort of personal vendetta. He was sure that Remus would comment about it having something to do with his never-ending chase with Lily, but he wasn't so sure.

What Remus had said to him, for those few seconds – that he was merely looking for an adventure, no emotions involved – had really stuck. He wanted to believe that Remus was wrong – who wouldn't? – but it was still bothering him.

James fancied that his conscience had taken it upon itself to prove Remus wrong.

So now – now it was personal. He'd see this thing through to the end, with only one possible outcome.

Remus Lupin and Sirius Black were going to fall in love with each other.

No exceptions.

* * *

Peter Pettigrew was beginning to worry. 

After he'd woken up, he'd found James still fast asleep – and was completely unable to wake the other boy up. This wasn't a particularly abnormal occurrence, and really only required that James be left alone to sleep off whatever mischief he'd gotten into the night before.

So he'd headed down to breakfast.

Upon arriving, he'd had to eat by himself for the first time in more than a year.

That was what woke him up. The last time he'd eaten alone had been the morning after the period of time under both wild and wide speculation amongst Hogwart's students under the alias of "The Incident".

Remus had been in the infirmary.

James had been talking to Dumbledore, desperately seeking solutions.

Sirius had been inexplicably missing.

Though only one of the three held constant this time around, it was more than enough to worry him. Normally they were all together, fighting over a last bit of food, frantically copying each other's homework, trying to quickly learn something for a test that day. Except, of course, for Remus, who always had it under control, and smirked at them from over his toast.

Not today. Today, undoubtedly, marked the beginning of a turning point.

* * *

Remus Lupin was beginning to wonder if there was such a thing as reverse paranoia. 

He'd expected to spend the day throwing looks over his shoulders, afraid of catching the wandering look of Sirius Black. He'd expected to be distracted throughout every class, looking at him, wondering what he was thinking, wondering where he'd gone wrong. He'd expected to feel Sirius' eyes on his back in Transfiguration, where the strange boy sat directly behind him. He'd expected to break quills in frustration over the enigma that was Padfoot.

The problem was, there wasn't an enigma to break quills _over_.

Every class was distinctly lacking in the ball of energy that announced the presence of Sirius Black. He'd had no reason to be distracted, because Sirius simply wasn't there to distract him.

That was the source of his paranoia. The lack of paranoia was making him paranoid.

It was a very frustrating process.

As the last class started, Remus felt that he would have given anything to catch a glimpse of the black-haired boy at that moment. Something to confirm that he was still there, that he hadn't been a disturbing dream laced in his head.

However, it seemed as though Sirius might as well have been a hallucination.

With a distracted hand, he flipped open his notes and began penning down the lecture McGonagall had begun. She spared him a smile, and he weakly returned it as she looked pointedly at the open desk next to him.

He shrugged. It wasn't as though _he_ could provide any answers.

For that, the enigma himself was needed.

* * *

Right. 

That was fun.

I believe this is what we deem a 'CrapChap' – because, really, it's not entirely needed. There's no real action. No hot man-on-man sex. No explosions.

But, you know. It still takes me longer than I think it will.

Remmie-poo likes reviews. They are like chocolate, he says, in a non-aphrodisiac sort of way. And what's that? I believe Paddy-putz just volunteered to do an Irish jig for anyone who doesn't send me a death threat.

Complete with kilt.

Siriusly.


	7. Chapter 7

Notes:

Allow me to express my deepest apologies for the lack of updating. It's all my fault, and I recongnize that. Sorry! I love you all.

Next update should be up soon – I've rediscovered my vigor for writing, I think, and really would like to finish this before I have to go to college, because goodness only knows how many files I'll lose in that move.

Also, I've gotten into making Youtube videos – it's really, really addictive. That's the main reason for the recent lack of updates – senior year being the reason for the rest of the time.

Just as a note, those of you wishing to claim your review bribe from last time around - Sirius in a kilt - need to go check out the newly posted one-shot entitled "St. Patty's Day" on this account. It needed it's own limelight.

* * *

Sirius couldn't remember the last time he'd felt so sorry for himself. The time that Regulus had used his first bit of infant magic to masterfully adhere a face-full of baby upchuck to his forehead came to mind, but he liked to think that he was beyond such troubles. 

Not to mention he'd solved that particular problem by throwing his younger brother headfirst off the roof, and he didn't quite think Remus would stand for that.

He'd spent the night in the Forbidden Forest as a dog, following the mysterious sights and sounds and smells of such a strange and glorious place. It wasn't the first time he'd done such a thing, but he usually remembered to leave a magical golem of himself in the bed to fool curious dorm-mates, and sneak back before morning. He'd spent the rest of the day in the new Gamekeeper's pumpkin patch as a man, changing back into his canine self only when someone approached.

Ten hours sitting among the strange orange plants and he still hadn't come up with any plausible way to make this all up to Remus, short of throwing him up against a wall and snogging him silly. Which, he reasoned, probably wouldn't help the situation any, and would only cause further animosity on both sides of the equation in the resulting confusion.

Because he _didn't_ love Remus, whatever that silly potion sad. He _didn't_ love him, it _wasn't_ true, and _nothing_ would make it so.

He almost wished that it had been true – things would be so much easier right now if he could just march proudly up to the Great Hall and whisk Remus away onto a thestral-drawn carriage bound for a romantic spot by the lake. But the very idea of a romantic spot with Remus made him twitch involuntarily, and gave him the strange urge to curse away a bad aura.

That, and he'd always suspected that Remus was perfectly capable of seeing the pulling end of the supposedly 'horseless' carriages, same as him.

He sighed, raising himself from the filthy ground and brushing the dirt off of the seat of his pants. He stared at the forbidding castle in his sightline, jutted out his jaw, and prepared to implement the worst laid plan he'd ever subjected himself to.

Truth.

_I'm sorry Remus_, he rehearsed, wondering why his friends were such idiots, _but despite the fact that I've been chasing you like a bitch in heat for the last two days, I seem to have gotten over it. __My bad.__ Promise not to eat me next full moon?_

Sirius cringed. _I'm dead meat. There's no way around it._I'd_ kill me for that one._

_But I don't have anything else to offer him._

He laughed hollowly at the absurdity of it all, then set off with a determined spring in his step towards the castle.

_Because really_, he thought, if _you're going to face your doom, you might as well be happy while you do it._

* * *

The familiarity of the scene – three Marauders already at the table as Sirius came down late for breakfast – spoke of a sense of security, of unity. It said that all was fine and well, that friendship was in full abundance throughout the Gryffindor table. 

Peter Petttigrew was sharp enough to be wary of the lull. It scared him, and even as the rest of students enjoyed their breakfasts amid the happy roar of morning conversation, Peter stiffened, sitting on pins and needles as Sirius sat down stiffly beside him.

Something was coming.

James smiled. Remus smiled. Sirius smiled. Eggs were passed, jam was exchanged. James proclaimed that Lily would one day fall in love with him. Sirius looked longingly at the butter dish and opened his mouth as though to ask for it.

Instead, his teeth shut with a sharp click, and he swallowed as he put his right hand over Remus' left, looking anywhere but the lycanthrope's face.

"Look, Remus, I know you're in love with me..." he began.

Remus' head shot up, and Peter could see all hell beginning to break loose. The werewolf's voice came out in a sort of strangled yelp. "What?"

Sirius still had his eyes fixed on the landscape outside – it was clear he was wishing to be out there, instead of in here. Doggedly, he continued on. "I know you're in love with me, but I've got to tell you something first, alright?"

Remus wasn't listening to anything that came out of Sirius' mouth, and had instead focused all of his attention onto James, his voice coming out in a hiss. "James, what did you tell him?"

Sirius, oblivious to the fact that he was being ignored, continued on between the flow of conversation. "I just don't think –"

"I didn't tell him anything!" James looked as though he were somewhere between fear and laughter. "Pure coincidence!"

Sirius shot an annoyed glance at James for interrupting his speech, and kept on in a slightly louder voice. "– that we would ever –"

Remus' eyes flashed, still ignoring Sirius, his voice rising in pitch. "You had to have said something!"

Sirius finally brought his eyes around to Remus' face, hope and a bit of anxiety playing around his eyelids. "Wait, are you?"

Remus' about-face was sudden enough to knock over a glass of pumpkin juice, splattering the front of James' robes. James seemed too absorbed in the conversation to care.

"Am I _what?_"

Sirius' voice came out in a louder tone than was strictly necessary. "In love with me!"

"That's none of your business!" shrieked Remus. He looked slightly embarrassed about the amount of noise he had caused, and continued in a fierce whisper. "I mean, really Sirius, you can't just ask people –"

"Actually," Peter heard himself interrupt, "I think it is. His business, that is. When you think about it properly."

James looked as though he might crack a rib from trying not to laugh.

Remus shot them both a glare, looking as though he would quite like to wring Peter's neck. "Be quiet before I bludgeon _both_ of you to death."

Sirius, being himself, was impervious to such things as noise levels, and took Remus' threat as the sign he was wishing for. Glee shone in his eyes. "So you're not? That's great! That's amazing!" He hauled the nearest Hufflepuff girl off of her bench, twirling her in a circle. "Fantastic!"

Remus stood, coldly detaching the small girl from Sirius' grasp. "Sirius, I –"

Instead, the dog animagus grabbed the lycanthrope's hands. "Thank you, Remus Lupin, for not being in love with me. I'm so happy – I could kiss you!"

Peter fought the urge to smack Sirius over the head with a very large brick as Remus' entire body went stock still. The golden-eyed boy removed his hands from Sirius' grasp and took a careful step back, his movements stiff. "Thank you, Sirius. I understand now. Obviously I will be able to serve as a point of amusement for a bit longer; a station I am grateful for, I assure you."

"What?" Sirius laughed, a brash, cutting sound that only increased the tension. Peter was quite sure the brunette was running on nothing but adrenaline at this point. "Remus, you know I don't do well with complicated sentences until after breakfast."

A quick turn served to start Remus in the other direction. "Goodbye, Sirius. I'm sure you'll have something new to involve me in by this afternoon."

Peter waited for the cold blow of wind that would have accompanied such a scene in any decent book, then shook himself. _I've g__otten far too used to the potion's effects_

Sirius could only stand in the same position that Remus had left him, looking for all the world like a statue. Finally, he blinked, gathered himself up and moved back to the bench by his friends, acting as though nothing had happened. "Who've we got first today? McGonagall?"

James looked at him as though he'd grown an extra head. "Sirius –"

But Sirius simply ran over his friend's outburst. "I hope she's not giving another exam; someone's got to tell the woman that those things are dead boring."

James looked exasperatedly at Peter, and the smallest Marauder cleared his throat. "Sirius, maybe you should just –"

"I mean, at what point in our lives will we conveniently have a tortoise readily available, but not a teapot?"

"Sirius!"

Grey eyes swiveled around to meet the blonde. "Yes, Peter?"

Peter took a moment to blink, not having expected Sirius to actually acknowledge his presence for at least another three outbursts. "What are you doing here?"

"Eating, of course. Isn't that obvious?"

"No, Sirius, I mean –" Peter huffed in exasperation. "James!"

James took the metaphorical ball smoothly. "Pads, you need to go after him."

"Actually, I think it was rather well implied that I was not to follow. Otherwise a perfectly good storming-off would have been put to waste."

"Alright, then let me put this another way," said James, a smile affixed on his face. "If you do not chase after our near and dear Marauder friend within the next thirty seconds, Pete and I will be forced to hex your ass from here to Tuesday."

"Today is Tuesday," pointed out Sirius, reaching for the pumpkin juice.

"Of next week," growled James, inducing a short staring contest between the two of them.

"Fine," intoned Sirius, breaking eye contact and grabbing one last piece of toast. "I'll be back. Save me some of the bacon."

* * *

Quick, running steps on stone towards the outskirts of the castle – the sound would not have ordinarily interested Lucius, but... 

Suffice to say that one castle could only harbour so many crises at once.

The men that followed him were well schooled in reading his movements, and the pause in his footfalls brought them all to an immediate halt – save, of course, for Severus Snape, who nearly ran into Lucius' back. He crooked a finger back in the direction they'd come from. "Our newest friend has arrived. See that he is greeted properly."

A communal nod – it would have looked ridiculous, had the atmosphere of Hogwarts not made such a fantastical setting in and of itself – and they split, moving quickly. Lucius moved towards the point he knew his newest little mouse would be cornered in.

"Come, Severus. Your presence is required."

* * *

Alright. Considerably shorter than I would have liked, considerably longer posting time than I would have liked. But by God, I can't get the next section to flow, so unless you all want to wait another two weeks while I fiddle, this is what happens. 

Apologies. PMS is a wondrous thing.

Just as a note (again, because people are yelling), those of you wishing to claim your review bribe from last time around - Sirius in a kilt - need to go check out the newly posted one-shot entitled "St. Patty's Day" on this account. It needed it's own limelight.


End file.
